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Nutty Boy tells all to NME shrinks...

Which song describes you best?

“‘Loose Fit’

byHappy Mondays

, because I’m footloose and rootsy.”

What is heaven?

“The boating lake in Regent’s Park, a bottle of wine dangling off a piece of string, to the strains of a brass band, with the one you love doing the rowing.”

What is hell?

“When you discover that the water in the bottom of the boat is a leak.”

What is your earliest memory? “Weeing in a saucepan.”

What is your greatest fear?

“My greatest fears are heights and claustrophobia, so I suppose it would be being stuck in a glass lift on the 132nd floor.”

Who is your all-time hero?

“I don’t have one.”

What’s the worst trouble you’ve been in?

“The odd occasion when I haven’t been able to communicate as well as I might with my family.”

Who was the first love of your life?

“My wife, Anne

.”

What’s your greatest talent?

“Lyric-writing and performing.”

Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge? Why? How?

“On me, for being such an arsehole. I’d kick myself, but I can’t. My legs aren’t long enough.”

What’s your most treasured possession?

“A copy of ‘Cry Me A River’

by Julie London

. It’s on the jukebox in my home, and when I first got married it was the only record I had and we would play it every night.”

What have you most regretted doing while drunk?

“Pretending I wasn’t.”

What can you cook?

“Pheasant stew and risotto.”

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received?

“‘You should go home.'”

Can you read music?

“No. But when I hear records I see shapes and colours.”

If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?

“I’d put the clock back 20 years, and then enjoy it all over again.”

If you had three final wishes, what would they be?

“That I could have a never-ending bottle of beer; that people genuinely realised how enjoyable life is; and that everybody could meet in Trafalgar Square and shake hands.”