IN THIS WEEK’S SEASONAL NME

Slather it in gravy, pop it in the oven and enjoy it with sprouts boiled to mush wearing a silly hat...

In this week’s NME

The bumper Christmas edition…a positively plump 112 page Rubenesque beauty with the MANICS grinning plumply from the cover in a South Park stylee…

Big news about HAPPY MONDAYS, LO FI ALL STARS, GOMEZ, IAN BROWN, ELASTICA, UNDERWORLD, ULTRASOUND and CHEMICAL BROTHERS

The On section round-up of ’98 ranges from CLINIC to V-TWIN by way of REGULAR FRIES and THE MONSOON BASSOON

MIKE D from the BEASTIE BOYS gives us his insights into life in On The Couch (What song describes you best? “Helen Reddy‘s ‘I Am Woman’“)…

Much hilarity ensues in Public NME with tales, true, untrue and in-between, of who has been ligging, behaving like a twat and falling over in public this year, accompanied by an amusing picture of a man showing his arse…

The year in dance salutes STARDUST and alter ego THOMAS BANGALTER of DAFT PUNK, whose ‘Music Sounds Better With You’ seems to have been a touch popular on the discotheque scene this year…

NOEL & LIAM, CHER, EMBRACE and FATBOY SLIM pick their top (and bottom) choons in Songs In The Turkey of life…

We look at 12 months in the life of CATATONIA, and still on a Welsh tip, the Manics pick Crimbo prezzies for celebs from BOBBY GOULD (Nicky: “Buy him ‘The Holy Bible’! Play it in the dressing room.” James: “Tell him to stick it up his arse!”) to GEORGE MICHAEL (“I’d bet him a steel studded collar and lead for his dog, Hippy,” says Nicky.)…

PRODIGY‘s LIAM HOWLETT on his DJ mix album, his tiff with the Beasties and the records that shaped the band…

SUPER FURRY ANIMALS review the objects of desire of ’98, such as Sunny Delight, South Park toys, yo yos with lights inside them, Pringles Cheez Ums, combat trousers and Golden Wonder Pot Mash…

MARILYN MANSON worries the good burghers of Ploughskeepie, New York (where he trashed the dressing room)…

We share a wacky Christmas dinner with GOMEZ, complete with silly false Mexican moustaches, tequila and party hats…

JOHNNY VAUGHAN and KEITH ALLEN review the events of ’98 such as Viagra (“A mate of mine had it and he had 14 hours of boner that wouldn’t go down,” quoth Johnny) and the trouble at the England v Tunisia match (“Did you see it?” says Vaughan. “I fucking started it!” says Keith). Crazy guys…

We present a selection of early photos of pop stars when they hadn’t quite got their look right: THE STONE ROSES in dodgy new romantic gear, Prodigy in strange post-baggy phase and OZZY OSBOURNE as fresh-faced reject from HANSON are just a few…

MANSUN talk about their obsessive fans and we look at the slightly scary world of Mansun fanzines and web sites…

JOHNNY CIGARETTES spends a night of shame at London’s ‘trendy’ Met Bar ligging with the likes of DAVE STEWART, ALISHA’S ATTIC, TANITA TIKARAM, some minor celebs and a bunch of porky German businessmen…

ARAB STRAP dress up as Santa and give presents to kids while the police and social workers stand by doing nothing…

PLACEBO answer your questions (remember the ones your e mailed to us months ago? Well, those ones. Or some of them. The good ones, obviously)…

CRADLE OF FILTH get a lesson in manners from STEVEN WELLS

Johnny Cigarettes (again) in his testimonial year as Pub Golf chairman, leads EARL BRUTUS, REGULAR FRIES and ASSORTED POP HERBERTS on a trail of drink and drink and more drink around the pubs and gutters of London…

We catch RADIOHEAD, UNDERWORLD, RONNIE SPECTOR, PJ HARVEY, GAY DAD, ELLIOTT SMITH and Regular Fries playing live at various venues around the world (well, we went to Paris on the Eurostar for Radiohead)…

We catch the new WILL SMITH paranoia thriller Enemy Of The State, the toe-curling What Dreams May Come and the Judeo-Christian propaganda cartoon Prince Of Egypt at the movies…

All this and too many other things to list. It’s the biggest and heavyest NME of ’98 and you’ll just love the way it feels as you carry it home…

On sale in London today and across the UK from tomorrow, priced a measly #1.60.