TABLOID HELL – FEBRUARY 19

Billie falls over, Robbie 'No Jags' Williams fails to buy a car and Fidel Castro duets with the Manics on 'Little Baby Nothing'. Oh, OK, we made that last one up...

“The price of a pint of milk is at least 80p. It’s scandalous,” bark at least five of the 47 of the nation’s top pop stars who have been quizzed for a survey, the results of which are found in this morning’s Sun (February 19).

Seems the six-month poll, to be published in full in a forthcoming issue of Top Of The Pops magazine, also reveals that the “average idol is single, has two tattoos and a couple of piercings”. For the survey, our chart stars – who include S Club 7, Five and A1 – “bared their souls”. Their favourite artists (this is completely true) are Rod Stewart, Phil Collins and ageing Welsh peroxide belter Bonnie Tyler. Be afraid.

Ronan Keating, meanwhile, and his wife Yvonne had a baby daughter at the weekend. Baby Marie weighed in at a staggering 10lbs. “She’s the nicest thing that ever happened to us,” Ronan is quoted as saying in The Mirror. Which is surely news for their two-year-old son Jack.

Elsewhere in The Mirror, as in many of the red tops, not to mention middle England’s Mail and Express, we learn that young Billie Piper had some drink last Friday (February 16) and then fell over.

The Star, meanwhile, concentrates on Robbie Williams. Poor Robbie was ignored for an hour at a Jaguar showroom in London recently when he popped in to have a look at the motors. Apparently, staff spotted his scooter outside and as the scooter had L-plates surmised that Robbie didn’t have a full licence. “We realised he couldn’t drive, so he wouldn’t be buying. We didn’t speak because it would have been a waste of time,” a ‘source’ at the showroom is quoted as saying. Robbie left after an hour. It should be noted here that Robbie “was wearing a Balaclava and his football kit”, which is not the recognised attire for appropriating new wheels. Except in certain areas of Belfast.

Most interestingly we learn in the Express that Fidel Castro popped backstage after the Manics’ show in Havana for a quick meet and greet. The 74-year-old revolutionary asked the trio to sign his souvenir programme, adding: “Just make it out to Che.” Possibly.

Finally, there is no need any more to fear the Reaper. A team of scientists in Southampton claim to have found evidence of an afterlife. The doctors “spent a year studying people who had been resuscitated after a heart attack,” reports The Mirror, and “they found that almost 10 per cent recalled emotions and visions while they were clinically dead”. “Money will be used for more scientific research,” a spokesman at the Horizon Research Foundation has said.