Hair Metallers Steel Panther: ‘We’d have played Trump’s inauguration’

'Maybe Donald Trump should throw us a bone'

Steel Panther have responded to claims to ‘sexism’ as well as sharing their opinions on Donald Trump, declaring ‘we’ve been grabbing pussies for a long-time’. Read our full Q&A with the band below

The comedy shock-rock hair-metallers, who are gearing up to release their fourth album ‘Lower The Bar’ this week, have often courted controversy and been accused of misogyny with tracks such as ‘Asian Hooker’, ‘Glory Hole’ and ’17 Girls In A Row’.

When asked if they’d considering ‘toning it down’ in light of Donald Trump’s comments about ‘grabbing women by the pussy’, guitarist Russell ‘Satchel’ Parrish told NME: “I feel like we should take some credit! He got way too much credit for that statement, and we’ve been grabbing pussies for a long time. He got so much credit for that and I felt like, maybe he should throw us a bone. At least have us play the inauguration or something.”

When asked if they’d have played his inauguration, Satchel replied: “Fuck yeah! I’d do anything, as long as the money’s right.”

When asked if they were more guilty of misogyny than than the hair metal bands they reference and parody, Satchel said: “When you say worse, you mean better, right?

“I’ve been saying that for years, people take us way too fucking seriously. You can’t take us too seriously. I would like for people to take us less seriously. They pick apart our lyrics and go, what do they mean by that?”

He continued: “We don’t mince words in this band. But that’s the thing, as soon as you think we’ve never minced words, we’re sneaking in the back door. And then you think, I know what he means by that.”

Frontman Michael Starr: You don’t have to play our music backwards to get a hidden meaning, the meanings are right there for you to understand.

Read our full interview Q&A with Steel Panther below.

The new album is called Lower The Bar – how have you personally lowered the bar?
Satchel: “For me personally my bar has been low for so long, it didn’t get any lower. There are limits to how much the bar can be lowered.”
Michael: “He taught me about lowering the bar. I didn’t really think about it until I met Satchel.”
Satchel: “Didn’t lowering the bar for you make life better?”
Michael: “It made it liveable.”
Satchel: “Little girls for instance. When you’re six-years-old you want to grow up and meet a prince, but then by the time you’re 19 years old you’re just like, I’ll just take a guy who doesn’t beat me. And you’re so much happier for it. When I was kid I wanted to grow up and sell a million records and now I’m just happy with 100 Facebook likes.

You must have more than that.
Satchel: “We do, we have 200 likes. I’d love to fuck a model but I’d settle for a blow job from a tranny.”
Michael: “That’s what lowering the bar is and we did that through the whole process of the record.”

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I’m guessing it didn’t make the playing of your instruments any worse?
Michael: “We actually stepped it up. I really practised a lot, I tried to be in key, it’s hard to sing in key.”
Satchel: “I think he’s sang better than he’s ever sung on this record.”
Michael: “It’s our fourth record, I think our fans had been expecting us to deliver a shittier record. We’re not spring chickens any more, I think people were thinking this album’s going to suck. If you go in with that attitude you’ll be stoked just to get three or four good songs.”

Are there any personal experiences that have inspired the record?
Michael: “‘Walk Of Shame’ is pretty prominent for me as of last night. Usually the girl will walk by herself but I thought I’d change it up and walk with her. And it was cool, we did the walk of shame together.
Satchel: “I thought it had to be by yourself.”
Michael: “She didn’t know I was watching her. All the songs on this record are written from personal experiences.”
Satchel: “‘Going In The Back Door’, for instance. A lot of guys think the back door is locked, but it’s always open. They think oh shit it’s that time of the month, closed for repairs. But there’s always a way in. You can’t just knock. If nobody answers the front door, always go to the back door. And if that’s locked, jammy it open somehow. This sounds a bit rape-y.
Michael: “Most people lock the front door of their house but they forget to lock the back door. Have you ever heard of Salt Lake, Utah? The back door is always open there. They have a high Mormon population and they stay away from sexual intercourse until they’re married. They’ll do anal but they won’t have normal sexual intercourse.”
Satchel: “Did you fuck a Mormon in her ass?”
Michael: “Three times.”

Given the controversy about Trump’s pussy-grabbing comments, have you ever thought maybe you should tone it down a bit?
Michael: “Absolutely.”
Satchel: “I feel like we should take some credit! He got way too much credit for that statement, and we’ve been grabbing pussies for a long time. He got so much credit for that and I felt like, maybe he should throw us a bone. At least have us play the inauguration or something.”

Would you have played it?
Satchel: “Fuck yeah!”
Michael: “Three Doors Down played it, right?”
Satchel: “I don’t know, I didn’t watch it.”
Michael: “You didn’t miss anything.”
Satchel: “I’d do anything, as long as the money’s right.”
Michael: “I don’t know why they played, they don’t grab pussies.”
Satchel: “People only want to be President for the fame. Why do you think Hillary Clinton wanted to be President?”

I don’t think she was grabbing pussies…
Satchel: “Oh, she’s grabbing pussies! You don’t think Hillary Clinton likes to grab pussy?”

Leading on from that, some people might say that you guys are even worse than the hair-metal glory days with groupies and stuff, do you think there’s any truth to that?
Satchel: “When you say worse, you mean better, right?”

Do you think people take you too seriously, or is there an element of sexism there?
Satchel: “I’ve been saying that for years, people take us way too fucking seriously. You can’t take us too seriously. I would like for people to take us less seriously. They pick apart our lyrics and go, what do they mean by that?”

If you take them at face value it’s easy to go, ‘well that sounds sexist’.
Satchel: “It seems like it. We don’t mince words in this band. But that’s the thing, as soon as you think we’ve never minced words, we’re sneaking in the back door. And then you think, I know what he means by that.”
Michael: “You don’t have to play our music backwards to get a hidden meaning, the meanings are right there for you to understand.”
Satchel: “But if you do play it backwards it does mean more, I think.”
Michael: “You think? I didn’t hear anything.”
Satchel: “If you do drugs. If you do a bit of marijuana, a bit of heroin… You’ve got to get past the throw up part, then you’re golden. After that it’s killer.”

How’s life in California since Trump got elected?
Satchel: “It’s still the same Hollywood except a lot of shit’s on fire right now.”
Michael: “Nothing’s changed, everything’s the same. Everyone’s making a big deal about nothing. We have spy boats off the coast of New York. We should go to spy school!”
Satchel: “But then I’d know you were a spy and I’d turn you in for the ransom.”

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 Download Festival is coming – what do you like to do at festivals? How do you have fun?
Michael: “I like to take pictures with all the other bands because I don’t get to see a lot of them and meet them.”
Satchel: “Who’s your favourite band at the festival?”
Michael: “We’re playing with Aerosmith. We’ve never met any of them before. But I’d like to meet Miles Davis.”
Satchel: “Miles Davis is dead.”
Michael: “I mean Miles Kennedy from Alter Bridge. I’d like to meet Steven Tyler and take a picture with him before he retires.”
Satchel: “I’m not going to ever fucking retire. Motley Crue retired and I’m going to be the fucking one to say it, that’s a pussy move!”
Michael: “Don’t say that, dude.”
Satchel: “No, you don’t ever retire from heavy fucking metal! You keep on rocking!”
Michael: “But I wouldn’t say that to Tommy Lee.”
Satchel: “You tell Tommy Lee that Satchel said it’s bullshit.”
Michael: “And you tell Tommy Lee that Michael Star didn’t say that! They should just get treadmills and put them on stage for Vince Neil.”
Satchel: “Are you saying Vince Neil’s fat?”
Michael: “No…well, he is a little chunky.”

Aren’t you guys keeping the heavy metal alive now they’re gone?
Michael: “We’re happy to take that torch and run with it.”
Satchel: “You shouldn’t run with a torch.”
Michael: “No, that’s scissors.”

Well, if the torch was on fire it might be dangerous…
Michael: “You wouldn’t want to do that, it would go back into your face and you’d end up looking like Ace Frehley.”
Satchel: “What are you saying, that Ace Frehley’s fat and bald? That his forehead’s too big?”

Leading on from keeping the spirit of rock alive, what do you think about other acts at Download like Biffy Clyro and Muse being called stadium rock?
Michael: “Biffy Clyro? He’s really good.”
Satchel: “Biffy Clyro’s not a guy, it’s a group! That’s like saying dude I’m really good friends with Pink Floyd. You’re thinking of Biffy the Vampire Slayer.”
Michael: “Wait, so Biffy’s not a guy? And Muse is not a guy? Isn’t that a painting? And Biffy Clyro are playing Download?”
Satchel: “They’re the fucking headliners dude, you should be kissing their fucking dicks right now!”
Michael: “Does he have short hair? He looks like Justin Bieber, right?”

OK, so what’s the main difference between partying in the UK and America?
Satchel: “There’s more fat chicks in America.”
Michael:” We seem to get all the supersize girls backstage in America.”
Michael: “They’re cool, they’re fun, Stix our drummer likes them.”
Satchel: “English girls just sound classy.”
Michael: “But they make me feel stupid. Our parties after the show have been really fun here. It’s the first place we’ve had some really serious success.”

Steel Panther release ‘Lower The Bar’ on Friday March 24. They’ll also be playing at Download Festival alongside Biffy Clyro, Aerosmoth, System Of A Down, AFI, Prophets Of Rage, Slayer and many more.  Download Festival takes place from 9-11 June 2017 at Donington Park in Derbyshire. Tickets are on sale now.