Heart murmur forces singer to shed weight

Lily Allen – known for her biting barbs against the pop fraternity – has taunted herself in a playground school style.

As well as revealing her glamazon new look – the singer shed 19lb in six weeks because of a heart murmur – she explained her new outlook.

Explaining her hilarious outburst against the likes of The Kooks and Girls Aloud she said: “A lot of that stuff I said was because I didn’t feel confident.

“I felt like, ‘Oh God, I’m short, fat, ugly…and I hate all these people who flaunt their beauty’.

“Ever since a kid I’ve felt like I’m possibly the uncoolest, naffest person ever to walk the earth. But I feel great at the moment. I actually don’t have one bad thing to say about anything.”

The end of comedy Lily? Say it ain’t so!