He's 'going straight', say the red tops

Brand spanking umbilical-fresh news in the tabloids today: Pete Doherty is kicking the drugs.

In an in-no-way-tenuous assumption by the red tops, Pete’s assertion in an online chat (at 5.30 yesterday morning, no less) that “I’m straight as a die” can only mean one thing…

Yes! He’s kicking the drugs to win back supermodel ex-girlfriend Kate Moss.

…Or maybe that he doesn’t want to end up in jail on September 4, when he’s sentenced for drug offences.

You see, he’s been told in no uncertain terms that if he hasn’t cleaned up by then he’ll be swapping his trilby and winkle pickers for a stripey jumpsuit and hoping he doesn’t drop his guitar in the shower.

So clearly he’s going ‘straight’ to win back Kate, and there’s no other reason at all…