TABLOID HELL – NOVEMBER 14 2001

Plus - The former Take That fattie gets obsessed with Robbie, how Posh Spice is part of the plan to make AC Milan a force again and Jacko's Oscar joy...

Gary Barlow’s fanclub has been shut down.

The Sun (November 14) reveals that Gary, who used to be famous before he decided not to be any longer, has released a statement saying: “It’s my very sad duty to inform you we are closing down the Gary Barlow fan club. Gary is continuing to work but I can’t say any more than that.”

Gary, who used to be fat and in Take That but is no longer in Take That, has been keen to avoid the full glare of publicity in recent years. He has allowed Robbie Williams , who he used to be richer than, to sell popular records while he has concentrated on making bad records and being a figure of ridicule and fun.

“I don’t think people realise the work Gary has done,” a former stalker of Barlow said, “At first, he saw that Robbie needed a leg-up, so he immediately starting writing some godawful tripe. He even helped Jason Orange, though I can’t quite recall how – Orange is a game poacher now, I believe; and something of a fan of pleasuring himself in woodland glades. Anyway, Gary became a bit obsessed with Robbie. With anybody called Robbie or names that sounded similar really. And anybody with Williams in their name. He even used to get really wound up when he discovered that ‘Mrs Doubtfire’ was being repeated on the television. When he heard that ‘Mork & Mindy’ was going to appear on a satellite channel he insisted on all cable and Internet links being severed from his home. And he had it cleaned professionally by professionals. He only listens to radio broadcasts from Uzbekistan now.” Gary’s former stalker moved on to someone else several years ago, labelling Barlow “a little touched”.

, which he also owns.

“Silvio has admired Victoria for some considerable time,” a keen fanatic said, “He wants AC Milan to become the superpower of European football they were a decade ago and he feels that Victoria’s midfield dynamism is the engine that will drive his team.” Beckham has not responded to the claim, though Gary Barlow’s former stalker said earlier, “I have no comment to make at this time.”

The Sun also reports that popular entertainer Michael Jackson has bought the Best Film Oscar presented to ‘Gone With The Wind’. It has also been reported elsewhere that reports on other news will follow.

The Mirror’s three girls today carry several photographs.

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