MARK MORRISS – ON THE COUCH

Mark, currently at number 13 with new single Keep The Home Fires Burning' reveals his deepest secrets to nme.com...

What song describes you best?

“‘I’m Not Like Anybody Else‘ by The Kinks.”

What is heaven?

“Isn’t it a gay nightclub in London?”

What is hell?

“A world without soap.”

What is your earliest memory?

“Being capsized in a dinghy when I was about five on holiday in Malta. I was playing ball in the sea with my dad and I caught the ball and my boat went over. I remember it being bright and blue and thinking that was what it was like to drown.”

What’s your greatest fear?

“Boredom. Or being uninspired and unmotivated.”

Who is your all-time hero?

“My mum. That’s a bit corny isn’t it? I also love people like Woody Allen, the late Stanley Kubrick, Neil Young and Kenny Daglish!”

What’s the worst trouble you’ve been in?

“Probably shoplifting. I was never arrested but I got caught a few times and just turned the taps on and they let me off! I’d just say ‘please don’t call my mum’, so they call your mum because they think they’re really doing the worst thing. Then my mum would come down and tick me off in front of them and then say later ‘don’t get caught next time Mark!””

Who was the first love of your life?

Corinne from Swing Out Sister. I used to carry pictures of her around in my bus pass.”

What’s your greatest talent?

“Communication. I’m a good conversationalist.”

Upon whom would you most like to exact revenge?

“Revenge is an overrated action. It’s bigger and braver to just walk away from things because revenge always leads to more repercussions.”

What can you cook?

“I’ve just started to learn actually. My speciality is trout with lemon and dill with sauteed potatoes fried up with peppers and onions and a touch of rosemary!”

What’s your most treasured possession?

“My movie collection. I’ve got about 900 films and they’re all in alphabetical order.”

Can you read music?

“No. I used to be able to because I played the cello when I was thirteen but I’ve forgotten.”

What have you most regretted doing while drunk?

“Honesty. It’s not the best time for revealing feelings because you can’t really make yourself clear.”

What’s the best piece of advice you’ve received?

“Never lend money to a man with a sense of humour!”

If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?

“I’d travel free on the tube! Just ride the tube all day! That’s a shit one I know but I can’t think of anything else!”

What are your three final wishes?

“I’d wish that I could decorate my flat without all the hassle. I’d have a world free from spots and an end to false breasts!”