TABLOID HELL – JANUARY 23

Phew, so much to talk about...

Like yesterday, Billie Piper and Chris Evans are still together. Following a weekend at the ‘Ginger millionaire’s £6 million Surrey mansion’, both The Star and The Mirror report that yesterday the couple left a building through a side door. Then went for something to eat. They even wore coats. Fancy.

Naturally, every single paper tells the tale of Posh Spice’s missing luggage. In Isleworth Crown Court in Middlesex yesterday (January 22) she explained how the theft from Heathrow Airport left her without any clothes. Seems the four missing Louis Vuitton suitcases acted with a tardis effect. Nearly her entire wardrobe had been fitted inside. Posh, husband David Beckham and baby Brooklyn had been away for nearly two weeks, so as she told the court, she had taken pretty much everything with her. That’s everything. In four cases. Posh has rarely been photographed wearing the same outfit twice. A curious affair.

watch today (January 23) turns up little.

According to The Sun and The Mirror they didn’t perform at the NRJ Music Awards in Cannes on Saturday (January 20), because only two of them could attend. And there are four of them, you see.

Shaznay Lewis, meanwhile, is about to record an ‘X-rated rap with her All Saints producer pal K-Gee’ says the Daily Star. Due for a late spring release – with a K-Gee/Lennox Lewis duet as a B-Side. Naturally.

The same paper tells us that Jamiroquai star Jay Kay was spotted talking to a woman on Saturday night (January 20). In a nightclub. Who looked like his girlfriend Denise Van Outen.

Finally, Sting is going to be feeling somewhat snubbed today. Following the theft last week of his humanitarian award a matter of hours after receiving it from the authorities in Chile, it seems his friend Madonna has snubbed him and his wife Trudie Styler.

According the young and vibrant Daily Express, as a personal little wedding present, Mrs Sting gave Madonna a personally dedicated copy of her new cookbook, ‘Cooking From Lake House’. The sweet little gift was signed ‘For Mrs Ritchie, put your pinny on love, with love, from Mrs Sumner’.

The new Mrs Ritchie, obviously not too taken with the gift, left it at Skibo Castle following her December do. It has now been returned – to Mr and Mrs Sumner.