TABLOID HELL – AUGUST 31 2001

Plus - a1's secret role in the Bunton plan, Britney's nasty bouncer and the Kylie/Posh battle enters another phase...

Emma has a plan.

The youngest member of the Spice Girls, whose real name is Baby even though she is a grown woman, is planning to kick some life into her solo career by teaming up with pop giants a1. According to the Daily Star (August 31), Bunton is “discussing a top-secret project with the band”. It seems Emma’s solo deal is in a “vulnerable” position after her album sold eight copies throughout the UK and in parts of Wales.

Tabloid Hell has learned that Emma is huge fan of a1. “She thinks they’re really good,” a source close to neither Emma nor a1 tells>Tabloid Hell. “She likes everything about them. She thinks they are exactly the sort of band to give some kudos and substance to her. And they understand the pressures of fame. There’s not a street in the UK or Wales that they can feel safe in and the same goes for Emma. They’re thinking of covering Spandau Ballet’s great hit ‘Across The Barricades’ because it sums up exactly how they feel. The video concept is brilliant too. Emma’s really excited about it and so are we. But if doesn’t work, it’s no great loss. Emma’s already applied for a couple of jobs in the civil service. She’ll do fine. She’s a bright lass and she gets on really well with people. She’d be happy if she was working on the cold meats counter at Tesco. She’s applied for that as well, incidentally.”

Elsewhere, Britney‘s bouncer is pictured in all the red tops making a very rude gesture at a photographer. Britney, who is the biggest star on the earth at the moment thanks to her hitting song, does not seem in the least put out by the gesture. This sets a bad example and will have children all over everywhere making rude gestures and not caring. It’s reprehensible and should be condemned by public figures and moral guardians.

Meanwhile, The Sun reports that Kylie Minogue is scared of giving head to Posh Spice. “I knew there would be a media frenzy if we stuck with the date… I know that on the week of release I will be a nervous wreck,” she admirably admits. Oh… actually that’s a mistake. Kylie’s nervous about going head to head with Posh. In a non-sexual way. Their singles are released on the same day. That’s all. All right?

The Mirror’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls today reveal that snooker commentating funnyman John Virgo was seen in “The Baynol Arms in Abersoch” which is probably a pub. The Daily Star’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls with lighter hair who use the same page template for their column as The Mirror’s Ever Vigilant 3am Girls reveal that actress Anna Friel, who once kissed a woman on the television, was seen “looking lost” in the Piccadilly area of London. This is a bruising battle for supremacy between these pitbulls.

Finally, good luck to all moving on from NME.COM today.

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