TABLOID HELL – JUNE 1 2001

Plus, S Club 7 go on the rampage, Mick Jagger shouts a bit (but not in the name of music, for once) and UFOs prove profitable for Derbyshire residents...

Westlife are attempting to better themselves.

Like all good Irish boys, the five-piece have obviously paid heed to their mothers and are looking after their education. According to The Sun today (June 1), they have been learning Spanish. The lads have recorded two tracks, ‘I Lay My Love On You’ and ‘When You’re Looking Like That’, for inclusion on their album soon to go on sale in the US, and in Spanish-speaking countries.

However, Tabloid Hell is aware that although this may seem like a cynical attempt to shift a truck-load of units, there is another reason behind the self-improvement. All of the band are huge fans of Spanish-language literature, particularly Gabriel Garcia Marquez and his magic realism. Kian Egan has often spoken of a great yearning to read ‘One Hundred Years Of Solitude’ in its original tongue.

Also, Bryan McFadden is known to be interested in a transfer to the Primera Liga and feels that learning Spanish will help facilitate a dream move to Real Madrid. Oh, actually, that’s French World Cup and Euro Championship winner Zinedine Zidane.

The Sun also reports that S Club 7 have now moved on to trashing hotels. Apparently, some of the group jumped on a bed in one such hotel recently and broke it.

This is just the latest in a long line of mad behaviour from the band that, aside from the drug dabbling, has seen Jo O’Meara exchange telepathic messages with foxes and Bradley (more commonly known as “Bradley out of S Club 7“) install a recording studio in the house he SHARES WITH HIS PARENTS. Sources close to the band may soon reveal how they are growing increasingly concerned that the pressures of fame are taking a huge toll.

Elsewhere, Mick Jagger, who is lead singer in a band called the Rolling Stones, is alleged to have been involved in a fracas outside a restaurant in New York. According to the Daily Star, a photographer snapped Mick, who is famous principally for having big lips, leaving Nick & Toni’s with supermodel girlfriend Sophie Dahl. Mick was not happy and asked his minder to remove the film. So he did. The photographer was not happy and began to cry.

Finally, Britain’s most notorious jailbird Charles Bronson sang ‘What a Wonderful World’ at his wedding ceremony today, instead of making a speech.

According to ananova.com, Bronson and his new wife Saira Rehman were allowed an hour together with their invited guests at a small reception held within Woodhill Prison, Milton Keynes.

Bronson, who changed his name from Michael Peterson in honour of the star of the ‘Death Wish’ movies, has spent the past 27 years in jail. He has a habit of kidnapping guards and other inmates when he is unhappy.

And a woman in Derbyshire has been paid £20,000 for film footage she shot of a UFO hovering over her house for six and a half minutes. Scientists in the US think the craft, which was yellow, orange and blue, could be three miles wide.