Tabloid Hell: Pete Doherty gives Kate Moss a dead mouse!

As is the case for any other day of the week ending with the letters “’D’, ‘A’ and ‘Y’”, open the red tops today (September 24) and you’ll find another in-no-way-made-up yarn about Pete Doherty being set to appear on The Weakest Link, feeding his kitten crack, sharing a bed with Shane McGowan or some such revelation.

Today he’s given his ex, Kate Moss, a dead mouse as a gift, apparently.

Although there’s no word on from where the news originated, let alone any quotes from the pair, after being inspired by Courtney Love (who he supposedly shared a Wetherspoons pub meal deal with recently), Pete’s forked out for a rodent corpse encased in a brooch and sent it to the vacuum-nosed model.

“Pete is trying to emphasise how he feels about Kate – defeated, crushed and broken, like a dead animal,” explained 'a source'.

Ex-girlfriend’s birthday coming up, chaps? Just head down to the pet shop with a hammer...