Tabloid Hell: Lily Allen to have screen sex with Russell Brand

Russell Brand... now there’s a man who’s seen the inside of a few ladies' bedrooms. And now, after rutting his way through half the female British celebrity population, he’s going to have his way with a certain Lily Allen – and all the action is going to be filmed.

Oh yes, according to our favourite red-top today (October 3), The Sun, Lily and Russell will get to lock crotches in a new spoof flick based on 'Pride And Prejudice' – with Lily playing Lizzie Bennet and Russ playing Mr Wickham.

Of course, no cosy British flick would be complete without Stephen Fry’s mug popping up somewhere, so he’ll be playing Lily’s dad.

So, for a few days filming at least, she won’t have a father who acts like even more of a celebrity cliché than her.