Tabloid Hell: Lily Allen's dad used her to sell drugs

Another day, another salacious Lily Allen story from the tabs (October 8).

This time it comes courtesy of dad Keith ‘look at me’ Allen, currently peddling his autobiography.

The actor has admitted to taking an eight-month old Lily to Glastonbury to help him sell amyl nitrate poppers and booze at the festival.

In a bid for a bigger Father’s Day prezzie next year, Keith said: ”I didn’t see what was wrong with taking little Lily along with me as a sales tool rather like the homeless lads do with dogs.”

Makes your heart melt, doesn’t it?

With amazing shamlessness he continues: “Cute puppy guarantees punters will stop and stroke it and therefore give you money. Lil' sat next to the stall gurgling in a pushchair while I cranked up the sales patter and knocked out the lager.”

It’s not quite a scene from The Waltons, we feel.

In other Lily-related news, she has apparently hired a hypnotist to help her slim down.

She is quoted as saying: "After hypnotism, I want to go to the gym every day, otherwise I feel really bad."