TABLOID HELL - OCTOBER 29 2001
Plus - Hairy Gelliwell does something equally thrilling, as does Paul Weller and a mentalist whose tattoo makes him look like a leopard...
According to The Sun, the former Spice Girl, who left the thrash metal five-piece to pursue a career in telephone sales, was spotted going into a chemist in Manchester on Saturday (October 27) to buy a DIY pregnancy testing kit.
The kit cost £8.99.
It is unclear quite how Posh could have been pregnant on Saturday, as her husband, Becks, was playing football at the time for Manchester United.
"Posh looked happy but unsure," a woman said. "It's not beyond the realms of possibility that she was pregnant, but if she was pregnant the name will be a problem. Posh and Becks were delighted that New York decided to call a district of their city after their first son Brooklyn, but calling the second child Manchester United 1 - Leeds United 1 may cause problems for Becks' team in the future. If all subsequent results are then to be draws for Manchester United, then a league title is obviously out of the question and relegation is a possibility. Future progress in the lucrative European Champions League will also be impossible. It will also cause fixture problems if Manchester United had to play Leeds at home every game. For Posh and Becks' sake, I hope she wasn't pregnant on Saturday."
-style stunts and kicks." "The sweat was lashing off her," a man in the front row said. "She must have dripped a fucking bucket. No wonder she's so small. She loses at least 12lbs each night through her bucking glands. I didn't see too much yoga - just a lot of bucking moisture."
The Mirror's Ever Vigilant 3am Girls today report that Paul Weller was seen talking into a mobile phone and crossing a street in London.
Finally, a man in Scotland has become a tattooed hermit living in a hut made of sticks and stones on the Isle Of Skye. Tom Leppard, mentalist, dropped out of society years ago, reports ananova, after spending thousands of pounds on tattoos of spots like those of a leopard. Once a week, he goes by canoe to pick up his pension and supplies.
"I spent too long in the forces, 28 years. I couldn't mix with ordinary people," he says. "I decided I wanted to be the biggest of something, the only one of something. It had to be a tattoo, one tattoo. This is one tattoo."
Click here to see Tom.