July 12, 2001 13:27

TABLOID HELL - JULY 12 2001 Wet Wet Wet Tickets

Plus - Geri's back talking more bollocks, Noel Gallagher in no-sauce-on-steak sensation and the water vapour that means there may be life on other solar systems...

TABLOID HELL - JULY 12 2001
The nation can breathe a collective sigh of relief. Marti Pellow is set to dictate our musical future.

The former Wet Wet Wet frontman and junkie has been chosen as a judge on a Scottish television version of 'Popstars', reports the Daily Star (July 12). "He's seen a lot of action and really knows the highs and lows of pop life," says a 'TV source' without a trace of irony.

Marti is well placed to choose winners. While in Wet Wet Wet he scored numerous hits with a cover of The Troggs 'Love Is All Around', with 'Goodnight Girl' and with several other hits that will long live in the long canon of Wet Wet Wet hits. Marti, who claims to be a football fan even though he follows the declining fortunes of Glasgow Rangers, is no doubt delighted to be chosen as a judge. "I'm really delighted," he'll probably say. "This is really great news. I watched Popstars when it was before and I had a wee sneaking piece of admiration for Nasty Nigel Lythgoe. That fella knows how to put a band together. Having said that, I have more experience in the industry - no offence, Nigel - and I see myself more as a sort of ongoing musical svengali. In fact, I reckon I could become a bit like Phil Spector. I'm a very soulful singer in my own right as well, you know."

Meanwhile, The Star also reports that the Incredible Shrinking Woman has taken to using Internet chatrooms to find a mate. In a story reminiscent of gymslip mother Sarah Platt on top rating soap opera 'Coronation Street', Geri has been going online and chatting to a mystery would-be boyfriend.

http://www.nme.com/media/images/tabloidlogo_L.jpg "I've been getting flirty e-mails from a guy - which I like. I love e-mail because it's kind of intimate, but it's safe," she explains. Geri, who used to go out with a giant basketball player who, when he walked normally could let Geri scuttle between his legs like a little elf, has a neat way of making sure she and her prospective beau will never meet. "They ask who you look like and I say 'I'm quite little with blonde hair and big boobs (??) - a bit like Geri Halliwell."

The Mirror's Ever Vigilant 3am Girls today carry two stories lifted, without credits, from last night's London Evening Standard, the scamps. They also reveal Noel Gallagher was spotted "scraping the sauce off his steak during dinner at The Ivy" - they do, they really do. And they break the exclusive on what Puff Daddy really thinks of went on in the New York club on that fateful night in December 1999. As if.

Finally, scientists have for the first time discovered a cloud of water vapour around a distant dying star, boosting belief that life exists beyond our own solar system.

A satellite spotted the giant water cloud while observing CW Leonis - a star 500 light years from Earth, reports ananova.com.

"What we have measured is the gaseous water emission resulting from the vaporisation of a large number of icy bodies in orbit around the ageing star," Gary Melnick of the Harvard-Smithsonian Centre for Astrophysics said. "Since water is vital for life, this bolsters the possibility that a life-sustaining environment did exist outside our solar system."

CW Leonis, up to four times more massive than the Sun, burned up all its fuel and expanded to a radius of about 483 million miles. Everything within that sphere was destroyed and the heat has melted the icy, comet-like bodies that circle it.

In about six billion years our own sun will do the same.

And Veron looks set to be finally, finally unveiled by Manchester United today. He's getting the number 23 shirt, apparently.

Email Tabloidhell@nme.com with astronomy hints. Or click here for the messageboard.

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