We’re smarter than we were this time last week, and that’s all anyone can ask, isn’t it? Here’s something we learned: Lily Allen is back, and she has a baggy pussy. Actually we don’t know anything of the sort, but this balloon arrangement did do a pretty swift job of spearing Robin Thicke.
In a new interview, Lady Gaga has opened up about her drug addiction, saying: ‘I have to be high to be creative’. In hindsight, maybe the outfits were a clue.
When not balloon-bothering Robin Thicke, Lily Allen has been covering Keane’s ‘Somewhere Only We Know’ for this year’s John Lewis Christmas TV advert. Odds have been slashed on it making Christmas Number One, while Lily now has a bear, a hare and a baggy pussy.
Creation Records head honcho Alan McGee has revealed, shockingly, that: “‘The Libertines were completely out of control”. We were shocked, they always seemed like such a sensible bunch.
Eminem’s childhood home burned down shortly before the MTV EMAs. We mean, we’re not saying we know who did it, but… “Me and Dre stood next to a burnt down house / Wit a can full of gas and a hand full of matches / And still weren’t found out…”
McBusted will tour in 2014. They’re called that because they feature former members of McFly and Busted, and not because they, like McNuggets, are mainly formed from reconstituted animal waste.
Red Hot Chili Peppers’ drummer Chad Smith was forced to apologise to Brazilian football fans after appearing to wipe his backside with a Flamengo shirt while in South America. In fairness, that’s much less offensive than ‘Stadium Arcadium’.
Lady Gaga has confirmed that she will perform in space in 2015. She’s obviously unaware that in space, nobody can hear you autotune.
Wikileaks founder Julian Assange spoke to NME for our cover feature on MIA, and told us that: “She’s the world’s loudest and finest rapping and dancing megaphone for the truth”. She always has had friends in controversial places.
Miley Cyrus lit a ‘joint’ while onstage accepting the Best Video award at the MTV EMAs. It was in Amsterdam, though, so it’s not like she was the only one.
Geri Halliwell admitted in a blog post that she was “gutted” after her Australian comeback single sold just 393 copies in its first week on sale. Cheer up, Geri, it’s probably more than Mel B ever sold.
In a truly macabre story, former Joy Division members had to step in to condemn the eBay sale of Ian Curtis’ kitchen table.
The Killers’ Brandon Flowers has admitted that they stole the bass line for ‘All These Things That I’ve Done’ from David Bowie. Still unaccounted for is Bowie’s favourite hat and three small puppets.
Popular boyband Kings of Leon dished out some advice on dealing with groupies to rock superstars One Direction this week. Drummer Nathan Followill said: “If you’re going to have a party in a hotel room, have a box at the door and take the girls’ phones – that’s what gets kids into trouble these days. Every phone is a camera.” Who said romance is dead?
John Lydon has praised Mick Jagger for paying Sid Vicious’s murder charge lawyers. Lydon said that he has ‘a good liking’ of Jagger because of his generosity when Vicious was accused of murdering Nancy Spungen. Who knew rock’n’roll and punk were on such good terms?