“Look, I’ll be honest, I fucking hate that movie,” Channing Tatum told an interviewer this week of GI Joe – the flop 2009 popcorn thriller he starred in alongside Siena Miller. He’s not the only big-name Hollywood star to have publicly disowned movies they starred in. Here’s another 18 on the movie disasters they wish they’d never agreed to…
Alec Guinness – Star Wars: The classic example of an actor hating their own film is the brilliantly ill-natured disdain British thesp Alec Guinness had for Star Wars – which the Shakespearian actor would often refer to as “that silly space film”. Guinness, who played space monk Obi Wan Kenobi in the 1977 original, dismissed the film as ‘fairytale rubbish’ and its dialogue as “mumbo jumbo.”
George Clooney – Batman and Robin: It took the Cloonster 16 years to admit it, but finally, in 2013 he confessed: his Batman was the worst to have ever graced the big screen. Asked what he made of news Ben Affleck would be donning the Bat cowl, he replied: “I am the least qualified person to comment on anyone playing the role of Batman since I so terribly destroyed the part.”
Brad Pitt – Devil’s Own: Playing the role of cinema’s most implausibly good-looking Irish revolutionary – hey Hollywood, have you seen Gerry Adams!? – Pitt once called this IRA drama “the most irresponsible bit of filmmaking – if you can even call it that – that I’ve ever seen. We had a great script, but it got tossed… so we had twenty pages of dog shit.”
Jessica Alba – Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer: Alba claims director Tim Story asked her “Can you be prettier when you cry? Cry pretty, Jessica” on set of this Marvel flick. “He was like, don’t do that thing with your face. Just make it flat. We can CGI the tears in.” The experience made her want to quit acting. “I just said, fuck it. I don’t care about this business anymore.”
Lindsey Lohan – I Know Who Killed Me: “I seriously watched I know who killed me twice last night,” a fan tweeted Mean Girls star Lohan in 2013. “Two times too many!” was the actress’s unexpected reply. In fairness to her, the film was as nonsensical a thriller as they come, as if its insanely clunky title didn’t already give that away.
Robert Pattison – Twilight: Mr FKA Twigs Bobby P recently admitted his secret hatred for the character of emo-vamp pouter Edward Cullen. “The more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that’s how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself,” he told Empire. “Plus, he’s a 108 year-old virgin so he’s obviously got some issues there.” Man’s got a point.
Kate Winslet – Titanic: It’s one of the biggest movies in cinema history but Kate can’t bear to watch it back now, apparently embarrassed by her contributions to the James Cameron disaster drama. “Every single scene, I’m like, really? You did it like that? Oh my God… Even my American accent, I can’t listen to it. It’s awful.”
Bill Murray – Garfield: It was only after accepting the role of ginge sarcy bastard Garfield that Murray realised the guy on board to direct was Joel Coen, journeyman screenwriter at large, and not in fact Joel Coen of genius film-making partnership Joel and Ethan Coen. He’s since sheepishly admitted to the film being a bit of a blot on his CV.
Colin Farrell – Miami Vice: His months spent wearing designer Italian apparel and smooching Gong Li in a variety of tropical locations was doubtlessly a enjoyable process for Farrell, but the Irish hell-raiser wasn’t so sure about the final outcome, dubbing this Michael Mann thriller “slow and hard to relate to.” Ouch.
Shia Le Beouf – Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Famous baghead and annoying art-fraudster Le Beouf saw the second instalment of the franchise as a bit of a misfire. “There were some really wild stunts in it, but the heart was gone. … It’s just a bunch of fighting robots,” he later bemoaned. And the first film was what, Dostoyevsky with sick cars?
Bob Hoskins – Super Mario Brothers: Our beloved Bob once told the Guardian that the film adaption of the iconic video game was the “worst job I’ve ever done.” The bizarre movie tie-in, set in an alternate universe where New York is a perma-nocturnal dystopia, shared little in common with the actual video game, and is routinely slammed as one of the shittest films ever.
Katherine Heigl – Knocked Up: Judd Apatow’s pregnancy comedy was “a little sexist,” according to its lead actress. “It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys. It exaggerated the characters, and I had a hard time with it, on some days. I’m playing such a bitch. Why is she being such a killjoy?”
Jim Carrey – Kick Ass 2: Jim disowned this recent blood-splattered comic book sequel shortly before its release in light of the tragic killings in Sandy Hook, where 20 students were shot dead by a gunman. “My apologies to others involved with the film,” Carrey told the press “…I am not ashamed of it but recent events have caused a change in my heart.”
Mark Wahlberg – The Happening: Silly suicide-themed eco-horror The Happening – AKA When Plants Attack (For Reasons The Screenwriter Never Properly Explains) was supposed to star Amy Adams, before she pulled out at the last minute. “It was a bad movie that I did,” said Marky Mark. “She dodged the bullet… fucking trees, man.”
Matt Damon – The Bourne Ultimatum: As any schmuck’ll tell you, the third Bourne film is categorically the best in the series. Death defying parkour, fights with hand towels – what more do you want? Someone should have explained this to Damon however before he went and shafted screenwriter Tony Gilroy in the press, saying its script was “unreadable” and “embarrassing.”
Sam Worthington – Clash Of The Titans: “I think… we kind of let down some people. I think I can act fucking better, to be honest,” said Sam after this blockbuster bombed at the box office. At least his performance in Avatar was- ah. Hang on. Never mind.
Arnold Schwarzenegger – Red Sonja: Oh Arnie. “It’s the worst film I have ever made,” the Terminator reflected on this sword-and-sandals flop. “Now, when my kids get out of line, they’re sent to their room and forced to watch Red Sonja ten times.” That’ll teach them.
Daniel Radcliffe – Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince: Our Dan’s honest about his limitations. Take these quotes on his failure to breathe life into the role of old Lightning Head in Half Blood Prince, for instance: “I’m just not very good in it. I hate it… My acting is very one-note and I can see I got complacent and what I was trying to do just didn’t come across.”