Twitter was a goldmine again this year, with a variety of celebs providing a whole new insight into their lives. Amy Winehouse didn’t let the team down, ranting at Mark Ronson: “You’re dead to me; one album I write an you take half the credit – make a career out of it? don’t think so BRUV”. Follow Amy. (NB: All tweets reposted verbatim.)
Liam Gallagher tweeted like only he could back in February, following his altercation with Peter Kay at the Brits. “Listen up fat fuck as a real northerner I was brought up 2 say shit 2 people’s faces not behind their back. Live forever LG” he posted. Follow Liam on Twitter.
In one of the most disruptive cases of a Twitter account being hacked, Axl Rose appeared to cancel all Guns N Roses appearances in August this year. Thankfully, it was business as usual (arguments with festival promoters, pictures of him on a Powerplate machine) in no time. Follow Axl Rose on Twitter.
You really need to follow Kanye West to understand the full majesty of his tweets, but if we had to narrow it down to one, perhaps this would suffice: “I specifically ordered persian rugs with cherub imagery!!! What do I have to do to get a simple persian rug with cherub imagery uuuuugh”. Follow Kanye West on Twitter.
With the reformation of Pulp the ramblings of indie’s elder statesman were more relevant than ever, even if his account is fake. “Have you ever consumed too much wine and drunkenly reformed your seminal Britpop band?” he asked before insisting, “We will not reunite Pulp without Flavor Flav. Period’. Follow Fake Jarvis on Twitter.
Aside from her recent thoughts on the winter transport chaos and some sniping with numerous journalists, perhaps Lily Allen’s finest hour was creating the hashtag justinebieberfatwhore and posting: “Just found out he’s that kid that’s always on the TV when I’m in the gym. He’s about 5 right?”. Follow Lily Allen on Twitter.
The celeb spats continued apace on Twitter this year. Ryan Jarman didn’t take too well to Professor Green hitting on Kate Nash, posting: “Can’t believe you tried hitting on my girlfriend tonight through TOUR MANAGERS? Ha! Simultaneously the lamest and most arrogant thing I’ve heard in ages. Prick”. Follow Ryan Jarman on Twitter.
Professor Green replied immediately: “Kate Nash’s boyfriend is a funny guy. In the sense you can laugh at him. @ryanjamesjarman how does it feel when your mrs asks you what you think of her music and you either have to lie or upset her?”. Ouch. Follow Professor Green on Twitter.
One of the more downright abstract twitterers, Vampire Weekend’s Ezra Koenig. “Did ppl really used to put cheddar cheese on apple pie? If so, what happened?” he asked last month, before insisting: “Julian Assange been in my toiletries bag”. Follow Ezra Koenig on Twitter.
Wide-mouthed loudmouth Example has built up 76,000 followers on Twitter this year, and he’s not afraid to use them. A few weeks back he typed: “I just threatened a large corporation that I’d tell 75,000 people they were shit so they’ve given me what I wanted”. Don’t mess with him. Follow Example on Twitter.
MIA’s ammassed some 160,000 followers on Twitter, and used the site like no other back in May, when she posted the phone number of New York Times journalist Lynn Hirschberg after a less than complimentary profile piece. Follow MIA on Twitter.
From pictures of rolled up notes to himself mocked up as Hitler, 50 Cent’s tweets descended from amusing to horrific in a pretty short space of time. One of his more printable musings: “I can multitask man. I fuck a bitch, type on Twitter and write a song at the same time. And all of them be a hit! I’m a cold nigga”. Follow Fiddy, if you dare.
In one of the best uses of 140 characters or less, Johnny Marr stuck it to the PM with his infamous line: “David Cameron, stop saying that you like The Smiths, no you don’t. I forbid you to like it.” Follow Johnny Marr on Twitter.
Russell Brand’s tweets are a constant source of amusement (mixed in with promotional postings from his ‘people’). One of the best referenced his character Aldous Snow in ‘Get Him To The Greek’: “When I heard that Coldplay were covering my song ‘Bangers, Beans and Mash’ I wet myself – and it was all yellow” he said. Follow Rusty Rockets on Twitter.
Foals don’t tweet too much, but when they do it’s usually gold. “I don’t think Prince uses Twitter. Why use cutting edge online social media when you can use the Daily Mail?” they sniped recently. Follow Foals on Twitter.
The Flaming Lips’ frontman Wayne Coyne used the social networking site to post nude pictures of his wife back in the summer, although the image was swiftly removed. It was unclear if she realised the picture had been taken. Follow Wayne Coyne on Twitter.
Twitter’s chief ambassador Stephen Fry keeps his two millions followers amused with a mix of interesting insights and more puerile observations. One particular favourite: “Enduring an alarming combo of windy chill factor from Siberia and chili wind factor from last night’s Thai curry”. Follow Stephen Fry on Twitter.
Having rejoined the twitterverse, Chris Brown kept us entertained again this year. Engaging in a long-running feud with Soulja Boy in March he sniped: “what yall make in a show I make for an hour at an afterparty””. Follow Chris Brown on Twitter.
When Mary Bale threw a cat in a wheelie bin in the summer, she had no idea she was on CCTV and would incur a £250 fine, inspire Facebook hate groups and be the victim of a tribute Twitter account with 34,000 followers. “You should keep your pets indoors tonight”, the tweeter warned on Nov 5th. Follow Cat Bin Lady on Twitter.
Paris Hilton was caught out this year when her account started spewing innocuous ruminations while the girl was banged up in jail. However, a recent dispatch (with accompanying twitpic) on an attempted break-in at her house redeemed her. Follow Paris Hilton on Twitter.
There’s plenty of fake Noel Fieldings on Twitter but none are as bizarre as the real thing. Only the real deal would post “I am not talking about an ordinary clown. I am talking about Raoul the burger clown who uses woodpecker blood instead of ketchup”. Follow him on Twitter.
While Ghostface Killah’s usual tweets are about “bitches” and “fucking”, he took time out in November to dispense some invaluable dental advice. “I’m telling yall man. When you get up in the morning man don’t just brush your teeth scrub your tongue” he advised. “Scrub that fuckin halitosis off that tongue of yours”. Follow Ghostface on Twitter.
Last year Courtney Love was ranting at her daughter Francis Bean and labelling Bean’s therapist an “amoral cunt”. This year, it’s all about the nudey photos. Always good value. Follow her on Twitter.
Following the collapse of Freebass, Mani went on a Twitter rampage at Peter Hook. His missives included this friendly dispatch: “We were all laughing behind his back watching the stupid wank struggle to do the same old shit he’s done for the last 30 years. And I haven’t even started on the cunt’s amateur night, one trick pony shite two-string bass playing yet either”. His account’s been suspended.