NME.COM

50 hilariously awful attempts at sexy album covers

  • Lady Gaga looks like she’s awkwardly perching on a circuit board in a new promo shot for her upcoming album ‘ARTPOP’. It made us think: what are other hilarious attempts at sexy album covers?

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Luke Solo – ‘I Got Shit On My Mind’ Album name: poor. Album sleeve: worse. Toilets take any amount of sexy out of a situation.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Dwarves – ‘Come Clean’ Picture Disc. Interesting. But not even nearly sexy.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Primitiva – ‘Martin Denny’ Martin Denny's first six albums featured the model Sandy Warner on the covers. Never has water looked so, erm, sexy.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Grace Jones – ‘Island Life’ We're not entirely sure what Grace Jones is aiming for with this, but it’s actually kinda amazing.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Heavenly – ‘Carpe Diem’ There really are no words for this. Cliched as hell.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Madonna – ‘Hard Candy’ Oh Madonna. This is terrible. And that font…

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Steel Panther – ‘Balls Out’ You don’t even need to look at this sleeve to have a pretty good idea..

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Red Hot Chili Peppers – ‘Mothers Milk’ Disappointing, RHCP. You’ve made some great album covers over the course of your career. Oh, wait…

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Scorpions – ‘Lovedrive’ Bubblegum never has been and never will be sexy.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Katy Perry – ‘Teenage Dream’ Katy’s head is in the clouds with this one. Who knows what she was thinking.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Roger Waters – ‘The Pros & Cons Of Hitchhiking’ Roger’s album sleeves include a wall, a light prism, and... a naked hitchhiker. A low point.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Great White – ‘Hooked’ This situation could go disastrously wrong. The album art already did,

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Shakira – ‘Oral Fixation’ Just give him the apple, Shakira! Put him out of his misery!

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Ohio Players – ‘Honey’ The real question here is why is the honey glowing?

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Rollins Band – ‘Nice’ Not ‘Nice’. Not at all.

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    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • ‘Music To Massage Your Mate By’ (Compilation) Massage your “mate”. Right…

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    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Jim Post – ‘I Love My Life’ I’m sure you do love your life, Jim, with a ‘tache like that. Just leave it off an album cover..

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Prince – ‘Lovesexy’ Interesting placing of the stamen here.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Tino Fernandez – ‘Por Primera Vez’ The shorts, Tino! What were you thinking?

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Cher – ‘Take Me Home’ For all who follow Cher on Twitter, sleeves like this aren’t a surprise.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Ted Nugent – ‘Love Grenade’ Whatever this is, it doesn’t belong anywhere near an album cover, and is one million percent not sexy.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Trina – ‘Da Baddest Bitch’ The guy’s clearly in trouble, Trina. No time for such a pose.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Whitesnake – ‘Lovehunter’ Snake. Naked woman. Not sexy. End.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Hot R.S. – ‘Forbidden Fruit’ The fruit’s forbidden, and the album cover should be too.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Diebold & Co – ‘Set Me Free’ The pearls! The pearls!

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Lil Kim – ‘La Bella Mafia’ A shady nighttime dealing, and Lil’ Kim wearing a necklace with her own name on it. Sure…

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Ohio Players – ‘Graduation’ Congratulations on the graduation. The album cover? C-.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Kevin Rowland – ‘My Beauty’ There are hundreds of words to describe this sleeve. Sexy ain't one of them..

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Boned – ‘Up At The Crack’ Band name, album name and album cover: all terrible. Sorry.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Herb Alpert’s Tijuana Brass – ‘Whipped Cream & Other Delights’ Being drenched in whipped cream does look fun, but a dress made of the stuff? Not sexy at all.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Sweet P – ‘I Toast Myself’ This cover was also featured in our 50 Atrocious Hip-Hop Album Sleeves gallery, and it’s back, as it’s still terrible, and not sexy.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Limp Bizkit – ‘Gold Cobra’ There’s a guy picking his nose in the background. Just one of a list of reasons why this is so far from sexy.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Herbie Mann – ‘Push Push’ Flute over the shoulder. Sexy.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Slunt – ‘Get A Load Of This’ Hurry up and eat it, it’s melting!

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    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Lords Of Acid – ‘The Crablouse’ Where’s the hand coming from? Terrifying.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Ice T – ‘Gangsta Rap’ Knee in the balls… Enough said.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • The 2 Live Crew – ‘As Nasty As They Wanna Be’ The album covers are, apparently, also as nasty as they wanna be.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Spank Rock – ‘Bangers And Cash’ Fist bump. Success. Well done guys. One of the worst album covers in history.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Sebastian Tellier – ‘Sexuality’ Small horse? Giant woman? One thing’s for sure: not sexy.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Hurricane – ‘Slave To The Thrill’ Woman and machine together as one in a pretty horrible piece of artwork.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Sex Slaves – ‘Bite My Tongue’ Ouch in so many ways.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Jane’s Addiction – ‘Nothing’s Shocking’ Nothing’s Shocking? Really? Really?

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Lil’ Kim – ‘Notorious Kim’ Lil’ Kim’s back again. Notorious for having quite awful album covers.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Cerrone – ‘Cerrone’s Paradise’ Fridges: not the most traditionally sexy items to drape yourself over. But…actually, no, it’s not here, either.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • CJ and Co. – ‘Devil’s Gun’ Looks a bit more like ‘Scantily Clad Astronaut’s Gun’

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Pooh Man – ‘Funky As I Wanna Be’ How 'Pooh Man' thinks it’s sexy is a mystery. Take off the sunglasses.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Boxer – ‘Below The Belt’ Ouch. That’s all.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Millie Jackson – ‘Back To The Shit’ Maybe this isn’t even meant to be sexy, but judging by the pose, it probably is. It doesn’t work.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013

  • Guru Guru – ‘Hinten’ One bum is more than enough.

    Photo: Press

    Added: 02 Aug 2013