Sex appeal always helps to sell records, right? The Strokes nailed it with their ‘Is This It’ album sleeve (not that the album wasn’t already great). Here’s a look back at the 49 other album covers that you probably shouldn’t be looking at while you’re at work…
“You said you’d bring the extra bra!” “Well you said you’d bring the non-see through pants and the headscarf!” Models argue on the classic cover for Roxy Music’s 1974 album ‘Country Life’.
A Katy Perry lookalike sucks sugary delights off her fingers for Herb Alpert’s ‘Whipped Cream and Other Delights’. This adorns many walls, but no-one ever talks about the music, strangely…
“I know guys. The band is called ‘Boxer’, so we have a boxing glove in it right? And the album’s ‘Below The Belt’ right? So we could have a naked lady on it. Like, totally naked. For no reason!”
Ah, the 70s…
A despondent Pulp fan responds to their new album. It wasn’t so much that Pulp’s ‘This Is Hardcore’ didn’t contain a ‘Common People’ it was more the fact that it had a duet with Neneh Cherry on it.
If you’re gonna call your album ‘Stripped’, then you’ve gotta be at least half naked on the cover, right? We can’t, however, forgive her for those hideous trousers.
Katy Perry poses on top of a candy-coated cloud on the cover of ‘Teenage Dream’, blissfully unaware a Boeing 747 is about to smash into the middle of it.
Rihanna does a minxish mix of ‘sexy face’ and ‘I’m so knackered I’m finding it difficult to control my tongue’ for the ‘Talk That Talk’ cover.
Blink 182’s 1999 effort ‘Enema Of The State’ is equal parts alluring and terrifying.
Despite Richie Sambora’s protestations, Jon Bon Jovi decided to use the holiday snap of the guitarist clowning about in Malaga for the sleeve of ‘Slippery When Wet’.
Beyonce sneakily managed to hid a massive ganglion on her right hand on the cover of ‘4’.
The cover of Kanye West ‘My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy’. Perhaps only sexy in his head, but raunchy nonetheless.
Ironic rock band Steel Panther do ‘ironic 80s rock sleeve’ for ‘Balls Out’. Postmodern or just a load of old balls? Either way, it’s got boobs, and probably sold to a few Zoo readers for that alone.
Chillwave was so relaxing that fans fell asleep whilst they listened to it, even when they were making out. The bedtime effort is from Washed Out for the cover of ‘Within And Without’.
Debbie Harry tried to repeat this trick with a cassette tape. Not so sexy.
Well if you’re called ‘Boned’ and your album is ‘Up At The Crack’ the LP cover if not going to be full of subtle Freudian references is it?
The cover star of The Cars’ ‘Candy-O’ gets overwhelmed at having to stand upright with her anatomically incorrect breasts.
The Rollins Band attempt a ‘naked model covered in a million dollars’ mise-en-scene for the cover of ‘Nice’. But due to the recession they only have $22, a red dog blanket and a bored intern.
Sadly Seal got massive cramps and was stuck in this position for two weeks, after trying to get limber for his second album with the help of Geri Halliwell’s ‘Geri Yoga’ DVD.
She thought that the job would involve ‘dressing up like a astrounaut’, but the model on the cover of Ween’s ‘Chocolate And Cheese’, got suspicious when she arrived at the shoot and the wardrobe consisted of one child (2-4 years) size top, a customized ‘WEEN’ belt and a nappy.
On the cover of ‘Love At First Sting’ The Scorpions were referencing Germany’s famous ‘Tatoo Joker’ who terrorized the streets of Hamburg in the mid 70s. He was known to seduce unsuspecting women before tattooing things on their thighs like ‘you don’t have to mad to work here, but it helps!’, the ‘Wimpy’ logo and the lyrics to ‘The Liver Birds’ theme tune.
Tom Waits was embarrassed. Not because he was stuck backstage with his mum, the topless dancer. But because he’d just done the most massive fart.
“If you do another bass solo, I’m dropping the lot of you!”
The Red Hot Chili Peppers get a telling off on the cover of ‘Mother’s Milk’.
Rammstein attempt to put all those pervert freaks accusations to rest on the sleeve of ‘Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da’. You should have seen the other cover…
Slaughter’s trombonist David Blaine would try out his early magic tricks before becoming a magician full time.
Before you ask, it was a roll of pennies, they weren’t pleased to see you. At all.
Queens Of The Stone Age, attempt the ‘sexy crotch shot’ cover for their self-titled album. They didn’t count on the model having an incontinence problem.
Peaches doesn’t hold back for her second album, ‘The Teaches Of Peaches’.
Sadly due to a printing error Placebo were left with this cover, but the original sleeve for ‘Sleeping With Goats’ is a fan favourite.
This car mechanic goes ‘off piste’ with her attire on the cover of The Zebras’ ‘Paradise Garage’.
Ohio Players play with extremely subtle metaphors on the cover of ‘Honey’.
Poor Mya. Not only was she the one everyone forgets from ‘Lady Marmalade’, some pesky child drew all over the cover of her ‘K.I.S.S’ album.
Sexy or really really creepy? Maroon 5’s cover for ‘Hands All Over’.
Mariah Carey’s weave was like a hive of butterfly pupae, luckily for this shoot, only one had hatched.
She was really really pissed off when they added the extra track. Louis XIV’s cover for ‘The Best Little Secrets Are Kept’.
Lil Kim couldn’t understand why she wasn’t taken seriously during Atlantic Records financial meetings.
Jimi Hendrix famously didn’t rate this cover of ‘Electric Ladyland’ much. He called it “a load of old tits.”
Alison Goldfrapp does the ‘smelling my arm pit’ move and manages to make it look sexy on the cover of ‘Supernature’.
Sure, Dave Brubeck was a good jazz musician, but he had a pair of cracking legs too…
Lords of Acid’s attempt a ‘reverse Janet Jackson’ on ‘Crablouse’ and come out with something very, very wrong instead.
Buckcherry’s self-titled album artwork features a tatted up/painted gal playing with her hair. We wouldn’t really expect much less from the band famous for a song called ‘Crazy Bitch’.
Britney Spears does her best ‘dressed up like a greasy peacock’ look for the sleeve of ‘Greatest Hits: My Prerogative’.
Bloc Party’s ‘Intimacy’ is, well, rather intimate. Can’t say this doesn’t turn you on.
Whitesnake justified the cover of ‘Lovehunter’ by saying “we couldn’t have a picture of the band on the sleeve because we all look like feet.”
If you’re gonna go sexy for your debut album, then this is the way to go. Because nothing says sexy like a gal chomping seductively on a cherry.
But if you’re gonna go the direction that Sugar Ray did with their debut, then you’ll choose to name your record after a weird snack combo and decorate it with a naked gal rolling around in some fur.
If you’ve got a body like that, then by all means, stick it on the cover of your record. Unfortunately, that impressive pose she’s standing in ain’t real – photographer Jean-Paul Goude admitted that he chopped up a few snaps to create this final piece.
Looks like Scissor Sisters might have nabbed some inspiration from this one for their ‘Night Work’ album sleeve with the close up of the bum, but this one’s much, much closer to porn.
A fresh-faced J-Lo curled up in bed in some tighty-whities? We’ll take it.
Black Francis said he hoped people found this image “tasteful”, and that it was inspired by the fact that he wrote the album in his father’s “topless Spanish bar”. Not a bad place to write some music, eh?