2013 saw rock’n’roll icons return and the world react to the deaths of Margaret Thatcher and Nelson Mandela. But between the big news items, there’s also been plenty of bizarre music stories. Just ask Liam Gallagher who was almost killed by a blue M&M in May. It would have been a terrible tragedy to lose the Oasis man but at least he’d have been spared the reviews for the new Beady Eye LP.
Justin Bieber drew widespread criticism after abandoning his quarantined pet monkey in Germany. Bieber’s pet primate, Mally, was taken away by German customs officials in Munich after the singer attempted to get the animal into the country without the correct legal documentation. This is how Planet of the Apes begins, just you watch.
Meat Loaf invited Robbie Williams to go ghost-hunting in search of Charlie Chaplin with him in March. “There are so many places to go – we could head to the old A&M recording studios in LA,” the ‘Bat Out Of Hell’ singer said. “They think Charlie Chaplin’s down there.” ‘Ghosthunting with Meat Loaf’ – sounds like a UK Gold TV show devised by Alan Partridge, doesn’t it?
Maraca-shaking Happy Mondays mascot Bez found himself with a new pastime this summer – beekeeping. Describing himself as a “full-time honey monster”, Bez helped install two beehives on the roof of Manchester venue The Printworks but was soon criticised by the Bromley Beekeepers Association for making “misleading” comments about apiarism. Talk about a buzz kill.
Jay-Z was accused of being a time traveller in May after a 1939 photo taken in Harlem was unearthed featuring a man bearing a striking resemblance to the hip-hop star. If he really could journey through time though, he’d probably have nipped forward to July to check on the response to ‘Magna Carta Holy Grail’, a record he recently admitted “wasn’t his greatest”.
Black Keys frontman Dan Auerbach was made to hand over a lock of Bob Dylan’s hair to his ex-wife in a divorce settlement in August. Stephanie Gonis received an item listed as ‘Bob Dylan’s Hair’ as well as $5million (£3.2million) in the settlement according to legal documents obtained by US news site TMZ. Can’t win ’em all, Dan.
Blue singer Lee Ryan was made to deny ruining Dave Grohl’s recent night out in London, saying that the Foo Fighters frontman thinks he is a “really cool guy”. Grohl bizarrely ended up at a party with Ryan following Sound City Players in March, where according to Ryan they became “proper best mates”. Wouldn’t hold your breath on a collaboration.
Not content with having shaped popular music for decades to come with the Beatles, Paul McCartney claimed he invented the selfie during an interview on US TV in October. Prior to playing ‘New’ and ‘Save Us’ from his ‘New’ album on The Jimmy Fallon Show, McCartney also took credit for the photobomb.
Hanson launched their own beer named Mmmhops in May, with proceeds from sales of related merchandise going to victims of the Oklahoma Tornado. Hey, whatever keeps them away from making music, right?
Now, this sounds like one hell of a night out. Freddie Mercury dressed Princess Diana up as a male model to sneak her into a London gay club, it was revealed this summer. The revelation came from the autobiography of comedienne Cleo Rocos.
Metal band Gwar put out their very own brand of hot sauce earlier this year. The band’s guitar player, Balsac, said that Gwar-B-Q sauce “is mostly made out of the blood of really hot chicks,” adding its use is “a terrible waste of fine ass, but ultimately worth it because this sauce is absolutely delicious.” Alright then.
Boris Johnson wrote a rap about the Queen and told Will Smith all about it. After meeting at a London celebration of the Mayor’s Leadership Clubs group, he reportedly told the Fresh Prince actor: “My first rap, I haven’t really set it to music yet… Perhaps with your help. I can send you a lyric. It was about the Queen’s Silver Jubilee.” Don’t do it, Will.
Lady Gaga got naked and hugged a block of ice in a Kickstarter video in conjunction with artist Marina Abramovic. Just another day at the office for the ‘Artpop’ singer.
Ozzy Osbourne started a house fire while trying to make a bacon sandwich in August. Firefighters were called out to tackle the blaze, confirmed by wife Sharon Osbourne on Twitter. Ozzy should know better when it comes to destructive swine – the guy wrote ‘War Pigs’ after all…
Rapper 2 Chainz accompanied his new album with a cookbook “#MealTime”. Each recipe came with outfit and music suggestions. Did you know that before you prepare Garlicky Green Beans you have to “Call Fergie, invite her to watch a movie on Netflix.” Well, you do now.
A man in Bristol was banned from driving for a year after being caught behind the wheel while “under the influence of drum and bass”. The offence was reported by officers in Bristol who pulled Aaron Cogley over believing he had been drinking or was on drugs. He was found to be sober but according to the court was “carried away because of the intoxicating effects of drum and bass music.”
Presumably Eddie Murphy has little to do now he’s run out of money-spinning ‘Shrek’ sequels to voice. He released a reggae single in collaboration with Snoop Lion called ‘Red Light’. A solo album, ‘9,’ followed soon after.
Kanye’s messiah complex hit new heights this year. He christening his latest album ‘Yeezus’ and conversed with a ‘white Jesus’ on tour every night. It isn’t sacrilege though but rather a tribute to the Christian faith, says Kanye: “You know what’s awesome about Christianity is that we’re allowed to portray God.”
As well as releasing a new Babyshambles album in 2013, Pete Doherty opened a bric-a-brac shop in Camden, reportedly selling cigarette butts from the singer’s famous pals including Kate Moss and Amy Winehouse for upwards of £100. NME’s Al Horner visited the establishment, describing it as “like walking into a haunted medieval Cash Converters”.
Liam Gallagher reportedly got “absolutely hammered” in a London pub and attempted to ride a fellow drinker’s pet dog in April. Customers of Ye Olde White Bear public house in Hampstead claimed the Beady Eye frontman racked up a £300 bar tab before mounting the animal, in scenes described as “really funny”.
300 Kate Bush fans gathered in a park in Brighton in May to break the record for the most lookalikes re-enacting the famous video for her 1978 single ‘Wuthering Heights’. Wearing red dresses, like the one Bush sports in the video, as well as black wigs, fans gathered in Stanmer Park on May 25 and staged their own version of the cult video.
Justin Bieber was accused of animal cruelty after giving his pet hamster to a fan. The Californian Hamster Association accused the pop singer of setting his hamster, PAC, on a “short path to its doom” due to the distress the sudden change of environment will have caused. First the monkey, now this – Bieber is fast becoming the RSPCA’s public enemy no. 1.
Here’s a headline for you: Taylor Swift was ‘almost impaled’ by Ed Sheeran’s sword. Well, a collectable prop used in Lord Of The Rings, presented to the Brit songwriter by director Peter Jackson during a visit to New Zealand. Sheeran was showing his sword to Swift on a private jet when the weapon began slipping off a table toward the US popstar. “I thought no, it’s going to impale her!” he said.
Busta Rhymes reportedly “freaked out” in a Miami burger restaurant after his burger was served to him with the sauce on the side, not in the burger as he prefers. The big diva.
R Kelly released a new album in December, titled ‘Black Panties’. Never one to miss a marketing opportunity, it was accompanied by a special edition that included a free pair of promotional ‘panties’ but unfortunately no disinfectant spray to scrub yourself with after listening.
Beyonce treated her entourage to £1500 worth of Nandos at V Festival in Cheltenham. A receipt from the nearby branch posted online, revealed a request for 48 portions of chips, 48 whole chickens and 12 veggie burgers. The huge order came to £1444, paid for in cash with £1,460 handed over at the till. Not much of a tip there, Bey.
Snoop Dogg asked to be Celtic Football Club’s mascot for their UEFA Champions League game against Juventus. “It’s the one I need to go to. It’s the game we’ve been waiting for. I need tickets but I want to walk out with the team like a little kid with the banner. Yes, yes, make it happen. Hail, hail the Celts are here. Yabadabadoo!” he explained.
A plane was forced to make an emergency landing after a woman refused to stop singing Whitney Houston’s ‘I Will Always Love You’. An American Airlines flight from LA to New York had to be diverted to Kansas City, it was reported, in order to allow marshalls to remove the disruptive passenger. Marshalls? Shouldn’t that be Bodyguards?
Josh Homme of Queens Of The Stone Age and Mark Lanegan recorded the music for a new documentary show on CNN exploring strange locations’ cuisine. Host Anthony Bourdain described the track when listening to the track “your head will explode, leaving only a smoking stump. When we heard what [Homme and Lanegan] had come up with, there was weeping and jaw-droppage”.
N-Dubz rapper Dappy ended up in hospital after being kicked in the face by his own horse. A petition later soon circulated campaigning that the offending horse be given the Outstanding Contribution to Music gong at the 2014 Brit Awards. Where do we sign?
Not exactly known for debauched antics, Mumford & Sons were thrown out of a strip club in Atlanta in September, according to reports. The band were enjoying karaoke night at the Clermont Lounge when, after being repeatedly asked to stop filming on their mobiles, capturing banjo player Winston Marshall as he sang, the group were ejected by bouncers.
Queen guitarist Brian May released a pro-badger protest anthem in collaboration with Slash, Massive Attack’s Shara Nelson and Sir David Attenborough called ‘Badger Swagger’ in June. The song protested the UK government’s decision to cull badgers in a bid to reduce tuberculosis in cattle.
Billy Corgan starred in a furniture advert to promote his pro wrestling company in February. In the clip, the Smashing Pumpkins man is seen in the ring with pals from his Resistance Pro Wrestling league, started in 2011. When one of the wrestlers tries to smash someone around the head with one of the chairs, he shouts “That’s a Walter E. Smithe chair!” plugging the US furniture chain.
Daft Punk released their own brand of ‘Get Lucky’ condoms to celebrate the release of ‘Random Access Memories’ in July. The French duo teamed up with Durex to produce a packet emblazoned with the cover art of the chart-topping tune, posting samples to DJs such as Diplo.
So Solid Crew rapper Romeo re-recorded the group’s 2001 hit ’21 Seconds’ for car insurance firm Confused.com in September. “I got to chill with [Confused.com mascot] Brian the Robot,” he said afterwards. “I’ve never actually seen a robot in my life! I wanted to play with the controls and stuff but they wouldn’t let me. I’d probably crash it or something.”
US punk band Get Shot protested against the Westboro Baptist Church by filming a pornographic film on the organisation’s front lawn in October. Bassist Laura Lush was captured masturbating in front of the church known for its extreme homophobic views and famed for its ‘God Hates Fags’ placards. “I wanted to spread my legs and cause controversy,” she said.
Deadmau5 accused Justin Bieber of ruining his campaign to guest on ‘Top Gear’ in June. The EDM giant had launched a petition to appear on the BBC car programme “which got fucking buried thanks to that little prick” after the DJ became embroiled in a Twitter fight with Bieber fans.
Not to be outdone by 2 Chainz, Action Bronson or any other of his rap peers, Ja Rule made use of his recent prison spell to pen a cook book full of microwave meal recipes. The rapper was then later alleged to have left his wife for his prison cell mate upon his release, which he denied.
Who saw this coming? ‘Home Alone’ child star Macaulay Culkin joined a pizza-themed Velvet Underground tribute band called the Pizza Underground in November, rewriting songs to include as many mentions of the carbolicious snack as possible.
Bono revealed how he was chased down a street by German activists yelling “make Bono history” in September. “Even as I was running for my life, I thought it was a pretty good line,” the U2 man recalled.
Father John Misty surprised fans earlier this year by releasing his own perfume for women. Why wouldn’t you want the musk of indie’s sleaziest, most debauched traveler, a man whose 2012 Sub Pop debut ‘Fear Fun’ told tales of digging graves, acid trips through suburbia and twisted, whiskey-soaked sex parties? Actually, don’t answer that.
Rolling Stones’ Charlie Watts returned to Hyde Park to perform this summer, keen to improve on his family’s experience of the group’s last time there in 1967. “My wife got hit with a stale sandwich. I remember her going mad with that. I don’t blame her. She got hit on the back. She reckoned it was stale because it obviously hurt a lot.”
Word of advice: if you’re playing in Brazil and are thrown a replica shirt of the local football team, don’t pretend to wipe your arse with it. Red Hot Chili Pepper drummer Chad Smith found this out the hard way in November, receiving death threats after the incident in Belo Horizonte.
Amanda Bynes tweeted “I want Drake to murder my vagina” in August, earning a confused reaction from the Canadian hitmaker: “I guess it’s a little weird and disturbing.” No kidding.
If you missed Wiley’s Glastonbury meltdown on Twitter this summer, you missed out on a tirade of epic proportions. “Rain ffs,” he began, before adding several tweets later: “Fuck it life goes on but I am pissed. Glastonbury ain’t paying me enough to leave my comfort zone …tight bastards.” The MC ended up leaving the festival before performing.
Kiss opened the third branch of Rock & Brews in Los Angeles in May and hope to open 100 more in the next five years. Frontman Paul Stanley said: “We are spreading our tentacles! It’s a family friendly place where you don’t have to compromise your palate.” Sounds like the perfect place to spend some Crazy, Crazy Nights…
Footballer Gabby Agbonlahor received death threats after accidentally injuring One Direction member Louis Tomlinson in a charity football match. So vicious was his tackle, Tomlinson threw up on the pitch, prompting angry reactions from 1D fans on Twitter.
A Beatles fan announced plans to clone John Lennon from DNA contained within one of the legendary songwriter’s teeth, bought at auction two years ago for £19,500. When there’s a Jurassic Park scenario of John Lennon clones rampaging across the UK, don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Puddle of Mudd singer Wes Scantlin was arrested after attacking a neighbour’s home with a chainsaw in a dispute over a patio. As you do.