Another week in the mile-a-minute world of music has passed and, as ever, it’s been educational. This week we learned, courtesy of wise, wise 00s indie sage Johnny Borrell, that you can “find out more truth by just walking down the street with a musical instrument” than reading a newspaper. Back in a bit guys, I’m off down Oxford Street with a kazoo to get the bottom of this Ukraine palava.
Jay Z and Beyonce announced a mammoth run of American dates together this week, titled the ‘On The Run’ tour. Let’s get Kanye to babysit Blue Ivy while they’re on the road and film it for the greatest reality TV sitcom ever! It’ll be like Baby’s Day Out but with KANYE! What’s not to love?
Dr. Dre expressed an interest this week in buying NBA team the LA Clippers following owner Donald Sterling’s lifetime ban from the sport for racist remarks. Snoop Dogg, meanwhile, reacted to the scandal with trademark eloquence: “A message to the muthafucka that own the Clippers… Fuck you, your momma and everything connected to you you racist piece of shit. Fuck you.” Amen to that.
One Direction are reported to be enlisting Barcelona’s Brazilian superstar Neymar for a new track, after the footballer described them as “an excellent band.” In other news, Barcelona physios have taken the player in for tests and are reviewing footage of Barcelona’s last game, suspecting he may have collided with a goal post or something, causing severe head trauma. More as we get it.
We also got wind this week that Damon Albarn thinks Blur’s ‘Country House’ and Oasis’s ‘Roll With It’ were both rubbish. “I wouldn’t worry about it,” he told a guilt-ridden Reddit user in an AMA, who revealed he shoplifted both singles. “They were both shit.” Leave the reviewing to us yeah, Damon?
Credit: Dean Chalkley/NME
Pete Doherty told NME this week that yes, he’s doing the Libertines’ reunion show “for the money” – but that’s “in the spirit” of the group. He could be doing it to rid a small village in Kent of an ancient voodoo gypsy curse for all we care – we’re just looking forward to losing our shit in Hyde Park this summer.
Credit: Richard Johnson/NME
Last week, Drake criticised Jay Z for eating fondue at a basketball game. In return, Drake drew fire from Hova fans for using a lint roller to clean his trousers courtside. Then Jay dissed Drake on a new DJ Khaled song, saying he was “soft like Lacrosse”. Which angered a spokesperson for Major League Lacrosse. Most bourgeois rap beef ever? It’s like something out of Downton Abbey.