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Kasabian: 29 Of Tom And Serge's Most Hilarious Boasts

The Leicester lads have just announced a special one-off gig at Leicester City's King Power Stadium. Sure, they've got the tunes – but they've also got the swagger, as these hilarious boasts from Tom and Serge prove.

  • What could punters expect from Kasabian's 2014 headline slot at Glastonbury? Serge's response: “Two words: MUSHROOM CLOUD!” (NME, 2014)

    Photo: Getty Images

    Added: 06 Feb 2014

  • Tom: "Our songs are dirty, sexy, melodic, powerful… they sound like we’ve shit ourselves 10,000 feet in the air. No other band are making records like we are. We’re on another wavelength to them lot. We stand out in the middle of all that jingle-jangle shit. It blows my mind when I hear it, I’m like ‘is that really us? And you know what, it fucking is! We’re the fucking modernists!" (NME, 2006)

    Photo: Derek Bremner/NME

    Added: 25 Aug 2012

  • Serge: “I’d say we are in our 1971 phase… ’71 and shitting in people’s handbags with John Bonham.” [Interviewer: “whose handbag?”] Tom: “Madonna’s. A big fucking steaming turd.” (Clash, 2006)

    Photo: Ed Miles/NME

    Added: 15 Jan 2014

  • Tom: "I wake up every morning and think, 'Wow, what a fucking great life.' We're making music and people give a shit, you know? I love being Tom Meighan.” (Guardian, 2009)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Tom: “On our day, we won’t be beaten by any band on the planet, and I’ve said this before. We’re a match for anyone – even the giants of the universe." (Leicester Mercury, 2012)

    Photo: Getty Images

    Added: 06 Feb 2014

  • Tom: “The process starts simple. Serge gets a demo and then we build on it, and then he mutates it with rocket fuel and liquid nitrogen and it's crisp and it's crack and it's smack. It's a dangerous, dangerous, dangerous, dangerous drug we've created.” (NME, 2014)

    Photo: Andy Willsher/NME

    Added: 29 Feb 2012

  • Tom: "I'd love to be a hobbit. I'd be from Shycester. I'd be a really bad hobbit. I wouldn't be like Sam. I'd kill Gandalf, wipe out all the hobbits, marry the princess and claim the throne. Ha ha!" (The Guardian, 2009)

    Photo: Tom Martin/NME

    Added: 26 Aug 2012

  • Tom: "We’re the best band in Britain at the minute. Form wise you can’t touch us; no one comes near, no-ones on our planet, on our scale. Fuck the Americans – I’m sick of your fuckin’ scuzzy garage rock shit. Stick it up your arse mate. People’s eardrums need saving. You don’t need to be fuckin’ rocked to sleep and wet the bed; you need to be fuckin’ shook and bitten on the arse." (NME, Dec 2004)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Serge: “We've got these big marching songs, like a stampede of rhinos coming at you. People get this glory feeling from our gigs." (Evening Standard, 2011)

    Photo: Getty Images

    Added: 06 Feb 2014

  • Serge on their upcoming fifth album '48:13': “It's sounding deep. Like future psychedelia, with a moshpit edge. How many bands can say they make music like that?" (NME, 2013)

    Photo: Amy Brammal/NME

    Added: 21 Aug 2012

  • Tom: "I am a cartoon, big blue eyes and big round nose. I’m the Tasmanian devil. I’m the Mickey Mouse of the band ain’t I? And Serge is Walt Disney, he drew me." (NME, 2011)

    Photo: Ed Miles/NME

    Added: 15 Jan 2014

  • Serge: “Although Muhammad Ali would go into the ring and abuse his opponents you could still see the love in his eyes for his opponents. We are the same.” (Clash, 2006)

    Photo: Dean Chalkley/NME

    Added: 06 Jan 2012

  • Tom: ‘Why should you come and see us? Because we’re the best goddamn rock’n’roll band in the world! You’ll have the happiest night of your life!’ (NME, 2009)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Serge: "Arnold Schwarzenegger said he works out to one of our albums, which is pretty mad. And Carol Vorderman.” (Metro, 2012)

    Photo: Amy Brammall/NME

    Added: 20 Dec 2011

  • Serge: "I want to put rock 'n' roll to the sword - I'm looking for the future sound of rock. I love guitars but I wanna destroy guitars as well." (MTV, 2013)

    Photo: Andy Willsher/NME

    Added: 09 Jul 2012

  • Tom: “Look how far we’ve come. And that’s with no cock-sucking critics ever helping us out. We’ve done it completely on our own terms.” (Q Magazine, 2011)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Serge: “‘Empire’ is about disobeying orders; it’s about the middle finger to the machine. We are in a rock ‘n’ roll band; we are outlaws - we are bandits and we are pirates.” (Clash, 2006)

    Photo: Andy Willsher/NME

    Added: 14 Mar 2012

  • Serge: “Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Pistols…fuckin’ name ‘em all…the Gallaghers, The Smiths, fuckin’ Joy Division…we’re in that fuckin’ same line mate, in that same fuckin’, blue fuckin’, blue vein mate and I’ll stand by that ‘til the day I die.” (Guardian, 2008)

    Photo: Andy Willsher/NME

    Added: 29 Nov 2013

  • Serge: “Dance music was on its arse before we came along.” (Guardian, 2006)

    Photo: Ed Miles

    Added: 30 Sep 2011

  • Serge on polarising fans with ‘West Ryder Pauper Lunatic Asylum’: “Fucking hell, that’s us, that’s what we do; split it right down the middle! It’s going to jump out of the speakers and frighten everyone” (NME, 2009)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Tom: "We’ve got the balls, the tunes and the fire. We make fight tunes, music to gear you up for ripping the music scene to shreds." (NME, 2004)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Serge after an Irish show: ‘The Dublin show was blinding. It wasn’t even a show, it was a galaxy. It’s been another planet of how big it is.’ (NME, 2011)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Tom: ‘My songs are lovely little luscious pieces of pop candy music’ (NME, 2011)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Serge following release of ‘Empire’: "We’ve left that crazy fucking E-popping rock’n’roll behind and gone for a more classic approach. As soon as you hear it, it’s a classic, from one to 11. It’s up there with some of the best records ever made. Strap yourself in, we’re gonna fly you to the fucking moon!" (NME, 2006)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Serge: "I just think we’re connecting the people, know what I mean? With everyone. From all sorts of walks of life – nurses, people in offices, kids. My grandma’s a big fan too." (NME, 2004)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Serge on ‘Empire’'s title track: "We could change the way people look at singles. Whatever, the song is amazing. It’s got the maddest death march in it ever, it just stomps along then explodes It’ll really mess with peoples heads. I can’t wait." (NME, July 2006)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Serge: ‘When our fans come and see us it feels like they’ve flown to Mars for the night. Bands like Babyshambles claim to be there for the fans but it’s a circus. He’ll [Pete Doherty] go down in history as some fucking tramp, not a poet like he wants to be.’ (NME, July 2006)

    Photo: Dean Chalkley/NME

    Added: 15 Dec 2011

  • Tom: "We’d just like to thank every other band for leaving it wide open for us to take over." (NME, 2006)

    Photo: Getty

    Added: 29 Apr 2014

  • Tom: "When we first came out we gave everyone the best fucking party in the world. Bar none. It’s a joyous event, it’s a higher state, it’s like fucking church." (NME, 2006)

    Photo: Ed Miles/NME

    Added: 15 Jan 2014