Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

Photo: Press

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

Morrissey returns this week with a new single, the typically wittily titled 'World Peace Is None Of Your Business', ahead of a new album later this year. Finding the excitement too much to bear? You and us both. While we wait for the Smiths' man latest opus, let's cast an eye over some of his most memorable barbs, wisecracks and advice from across the years, shall we?

Photo:
Added: 12 May 2014

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On growing old: “Age shouldn’t affect you. You’re either marvellous or you’re boring, regardless of your age.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On personal grooming: “I do maintain that if your hair is wrong, your entire life is wrong.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On sex: “I always thought my genitals were the result of some crude practical joke.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On modernity: “Whenever I go past McDonalds I get very, very angry.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On comedians: “If met Vic Reeves, I'd have no desire other than to smack him in the face.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On indolence: “Doing nothing gives me great pleasure. And believe me, I succeed wonderfully in it.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On regret: “Life would be so colourful if only I had a drink problem.”

Photo:
Added: 21 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On Elton John: “He is pushing his face in all the time and telling us about his private life. Nobody's interested. He should just go away.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On wishful thinking: “I am capable of looking on the bright side - I just don’t do it very often.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On personal appearance: “Long hair is an unpardonable offense which should be punishable by death.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On rock star philanthropists: “Bob Geldof is a nauseating character. Band Aid was the most self-righteous platform ever in the history of popular music.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On existence: “When I'm lying in my bed I think about life and I think about death and neither one particularly appeals to me.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo: Pa Photos

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On self pity: “I see myself rather like an old discarded dishrag.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo: Dean Chalkley

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On Oasis: “They are very tame to me. God bless Noel, I'm sure he'll always have a spot on 'Bob's Full House', but I search for something with more bite and rage.”

Photo:
Added: 29 Mar 2011

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On awards ceremonies: "The Brits are ghastly. I never would accept a Brit. It would be like Laurence Olivier being happy getting a TV Times award.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo: PA

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On animal welfare: “With people in the world such as 'Jamie Oliver' and [TV chef] Clarissa Dickson-Wright there isn't much hope for animals.”

Photo:
Added: 14 Jun 2011

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On being desirable: “I think I must be, absolutely, a total sex object. In every sense of the word.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On mental health: “I have seen one or two psychiatrists. They just sit and nod and doodle.”

Photo:
Added: 21 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On dance music: “It's the refuge for the mentally deficient. It's made by dull people for dull people.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On the future: “I'm just happy being dumpy. Dumpy, fat and middle-aged.”

Photo:
Added: 21 May 2009

Photo: PA

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On charisma: “I'm not very good at being dull.”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo: Pieter M Van Hattem/NME

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On being pale and interesting: “Yes I have had a tan, actually. I went to Los Angeles and got one there, but it didn't make it back to Britain. You're not allowed to come through customs with a tan.”

Photo:
Added: 11 Mar 2011

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On Richard Madeley: “He referred to me as an 'insufferable puffed-up prat'. This is a bit rich coming from a man who actually married his own mother.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On seizing the day: “Nothing is important, so people, realising that, should get on with their lives, go mad, take their clothes off, jump in the canal, jump into one of those supermarket trolleys, race around the supermarket and steal Mars bars and kiss kittens.”

Photo:
Added: 21 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On hero worship: “I've always assumed there's a dark river flowing beneath my fans' desires.”

Photo:
Added: 21 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On psychoanalysis: “[Sigmund Freud] just made people feel so neurotic about their lives. I mean, if you dreamt about a lampshade, it meant you wanted to be whipped by the local vicar or something.”

Photo:
Added: 20 May 2009

Photo: Ellis Parrinder/NME

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On the music industry: “In England, pop music seems now to be exclusively for children. If an artist is no good, why is it necessary to have that artist repeatedly rammed in our face?”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On blandness: “Don't talk to me about people who are 'nice' cause I have spent my whole life in ruins because of people who are 'nice'.”

Photo:
Added: 21 May 2009

Photo: Hamish Brown/NME

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On being miserable: “What's the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning? Wish I hadn't.”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo: PA

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On musicians: “Artists aren't really people. I'm actually 40 per cent papier mache.”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo: Ellis Parrinder/NME

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On residing in America: “I normally live in Los Angeles - if you can call it normal living.”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo: PA

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On romance: “I do think it's possible to go through life and never fall in love, or find someone who loves you.”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo: Ellis Parrinder/NME

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On being unique: “I've never intended to be controversial but it's very easy to be controversial in pop music because nobody ever is.”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo: Ellis Parrinder/NME

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On growing up weird: “My parents were worried about me, certainly when I became so deeply interested in music and people like the New York Dolls who, at the time, were very peculiar indeed.”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo: Pieter M Van Hattem/NME

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On not getting any: “That was the problem with the 'celibate' word because they don't consider for a moment that you'd rather not be, but you just are. I was never a sexual person.”

Photo:
Added: 26 May 2011

Photo: PA

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On a life in music: “I lost myself to music at a very early age, and I remained there.”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On The Cure: "Robert Smith is a whingebag."

Photo:
Added: 24 Mar 2009

Photo: Hamish Brown/NME

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On addiction: “Music is like a drug, but there are no rehabilitation centres.”

Photo:
Added: 13 Jun 2011

Photo: PA

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On vanity: “Well, I am an extremely beautiful person.”

Photo:
Added: 14 Jun 2011

Photo: Getty

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On his sexuality: "Unfortunately, I am not homosexual... In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans. But, of course, not many."

Photo:
Added: 24 Apr 2014

Photo: Press

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On choosing a profession: "All human activity is fruitless when pitted against the girls and boys singing on pop television, for they have found the answer as the rest of us search for the question. I will sing, too. If not, I will have to die."

Photo:
Added: 27 Mar 2014

Photo: Getty

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

Photo:
Added: 24 Apr 2014

Photo: PA

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On life goals: "Sometimes I wish I was just a simple drunkard."

Photo:
Added: 14 Jun 2011

Photo: Getty

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On Denmark: "Denmark is sadly a hellish place if you happen to be a pig, but the brioche and fruits that tower on the table before me have me hastily attaching a feedbag."

Photo:
Added: 24 Apr 2014

Photo: PA

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On mental health: “I just feel that when all is said and done, I am not insane.”

Photo:
Added: 14 Jun 2011

Photo: PA

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On being creative: “I'd rather produce art than become art.”

Photo:
Added: 14 Jun 2011

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On dying: "I have an unswayable obsession with death. If there was a magical pill that one could take that would retire you from the world, I would take it."

Photo:
Added: 21 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On being exploited: "I've gone through managers like people go through shredded wheat. Nobody looks after you."

Photo:
Added: 21 May 2009

Photo:

Morrissey's 50 Most Memorable Quotes

On his legacy: “When they bury me in a church and chuck earth on my grave, I’d like the words ‘Well, at least he tried’ engraved on my tombstone.”

Photo:
Added: 21 May 2009

Comments

Please login to add your comment.