40. Eminem – ‘Beautiful’ The decline of Detroit’s manufacturing industry is the backdrop to Marshall Mathers’ ballad. Taken from his ‘Relapse’ album, the Youtube video has been viewed over 87 million times. Not a bad comeback after three years of inactivity.
39. Jonas Brothers – ‘SOS’ At the forefront of the Disney Music Invasion, the video for Jonas’ ‘SOS’ shows them aboard a superliner performing a song that youngest brother Nick claims took him 10 minutes to write. No shit.
38. Jonas Brothers – ‘Burnin’ Up’ It’s those lads again. Here they fantasize in turn on their ideal music video roles, and in the process shamelessly rip-off Beastie Boys’ ‘Sabotage’. Also featuring a brilliant rap from their bodyguard “Big Rob”.
37. Travie McCoy ft Bruno Mars – ‘Billionaire’ Over 89 million views, so nowhere near a billion. Judging from this video, however, should Travie McCoy ever become a billionaire then the amount of good he plans to do is commendable. But no amount of ”dunkin’” on the Presidential cabinet will ever justify giving him his own talk show.
36. Enrique Iglesias – ‘I Like It’ It’s Enrique’s turn for the now-mandatory Pitbull pop collaboration. The boys hit the club in this video, out on the pull and sampling Lionel Richie’s ‘All Night Long’. Tiger Woods would be thrilled to hear that his adulterous antics get a reference, too.
35. Armin van Buuren ft Sharon den Adel – ‘In And Out Of Love’ This record from Dutch trance DJ Armin van Buuren features the equally Dutch singer from metal group Within Temptation. Occasional subtitles attempt to make this video less confusing. Diamonds raining from the sky and spinning in the palm of DJ’s hands? We’re still fairly confused.
34. The Lonely Island ft Akon – ‘I Just Had Sex’ Akon is just one of a growing number of singers to lend their voices to comedy hip-hop group The Lonely Island, usually resulting in a massive send-up of their regular output. Spot guest appearances from tennis player John McEnroe and Jessica Alba and Blake Lively.
33. Timbaland ft One Republic – ‘Apologize’ Remember this track from a few a years ago? It might have had a bit of airplay. Here we’ve got flowers bursting into flame, glasses smashing and a girl crying, just in case there was any doubt in your mind that this is a break-up song.
32. Jay-Z & Alicia Keys – ‘Empire State Of Mind’ The video for Jay-Z’s hometown ballad is a “masterpiece” in Alicia Key’s opinion, and has had over 97 million views on Youtube. The chart topper was also the inspiration for slightly less successful Welsh-pride anthem, Newport State Of Mind, which has just under a million.
31. Jason Mraz – ‘I’m Yours’ The first single from third album ‘We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things’ was 2008’s summer anthem. Trilby-sporting Mraz mingles with the locals of Hawaii in this video, in a variety of locations but all the while remaining preposterously relaxed.
30. Jason Derulo – ‘Whatcha Say’ Constantly bursting out and saying his own name, it’s becoming increasingly suspicious that Jason Derulo is a Pokémon. He’s been cheating on his missus in this video and he’s paying for it by being locked out of his room, and adding to the tragedy it looks like he’s pretty desperate for a piss.
29. Selena Gomez & The Scene – ‘Naturally’ Also appearing in Jonas Brothers – ‘Burnin’ Up’, Disney starlet Selena Gomez is rumoured to be romantically linked to haircut sensation Justin Bieber. Her music career began as a solo project, but after recruiting ‘The Scene’ they have subtly recreated the classic The White Stripes – ‘Seven Nation Army’ music video.
28. The Lonely Island – ‘Jizz In My Pants’ Premature ejaculation. An evocative topic rarely tackled by most songwriters, but here The Lonely Island have produced something that’s connected with over 100 million YouTubers. Also featuring a cameo from Justin Timberlake, making it his best contribution to music in quite some time.
27. Vanessa Hudgens – ‘Say OK’ Star of the incredibly successful High School Musical phenomenon, in this video she is reunited with co-star one-time boyfriend, Zac Efron; drawing over 106 million views. Not from any of us, we hasten to add.
26. Black Eyed Peas – ‘The Time (Dirty Bit)’ Will.i.am, Fergie and the other two released this as their lead single from sixth album ‘The Beginning’, featuring a chorus taken straight from Dirty Dancing’s ‘(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life’. The video features animated versions of the band and some voxelated vomit.
25. Edward Maya and Vika Jigulina – ‘Stereo Love’ Released in 2009, this song became a worldwide hit for Romanian DJ Edward Maya. The video follows him as he traipses through various exotic locations in Greece on the trail of singer/DJ Vika Jigulina.
24. B.o.B ft Hayley Williams – ‘Airplanes’ Rising rapper B.o.B has hit over 126 million views with his video featuring Paramore’s Hayley Williams, but despite hers and Bobby Ray’s uncanny impressions, there isn’t a single airplane to be seen.
23. Justin Bieber – ‘One Less Lonely Girl’ Over 120 million views!? The only explanation is that people are playing it over and over again, attempting to work out the puppy-nuzzling, ‘expensive chocolate’-buying Lego-haired runt is saying as the video fades out. Surely he can’t be saying the word “Shawty”. Wait a minute…
22. Miley Cyrus – ‘The Climb’ Another Disney-born superstar and daughter of country music icon Billy Ray Cyrus, she made her debut as ‘secret’ pop star Hannah Montana. In this video Miley braces wind, rain and CGI horses, whilst the rest of the world wonders if it’s ok to find her sexy yet…
21. Justin Bieber – ‘Never Let You Go’ Bieber gets all romantic in the Bahamas in this clip, naïvely frolicing through the corridors of a deserted aquarium. Intercut with shots of little Justin singing his heart out from the top of a cliff, the video features young actress Paige Hurd from sit-com Everybody Hates Chris, which is currently less Google’d than Everybody Hates Beiber.
20. Lady Gaga ft Colby O’Donis – ‘Just Dance’ The original GaGa track that saw her shoot to fame; before the meat dresses, bubble suits and gender accusations. Just plenty of ”Red Wine”, hiding in cupboards and questionable dance moves. Whilst trashing a hotel room and a rap cameo from Colby O’Donis, naturally.
19. Lady Gaga – ‘Alejandro’ This military based video is one of Gaga’s longer efforts. Shockingly sexual images coupled with the re-enactment of a funeral and a twisted nunnery scene show Gaga’s power to make a statement; and squash those hermaphrodite rumours whilst doing so.
18. Rihanna – ‘Only Girl (In The World)’ Since her debut in 2005, Barbadian diva Rihanna has developed a reputation for absurdly sexy music videos. This one for 2010 single ‘Only Girl (In The World)’ is no exception, with the addition of some fairly surreal imagery.
17. Bruno Mars – ‘Just The Way You Are’ About 20 or 30 years too late, Bruno Mars shows us the other way to play a cassette tape that might have prevented them from fading out like they did. Peruvian actress Nathalie Kelley makes a cameo in this video as Bruno’s muse.
16. Miley Cyrus – ‘7 Things’ Cyrus junior, whose career is rapidly eclipsing her dad’s these days, lets it lose in this video along with a selection of similar-minded girls who have ”7 things I hate about you” that they are itching to get off their chest.
15. Don Omar ft Lucenzo – ‘Danza Kuduro’ What do you mean, who the fuck? Over 154 million people have viewed the video for this Latin chart smasher, and Don Omar and Lucenzo spend the entirety of it flashing their cash on flamboyant boat rides and top of the range BMW’s.
14. Rihanna – ‘Rude Boy’ Unconvincing drum playing aside, this is another unavoidably sexy video from Rihanna. The steel drums and animations allude to her Caribbean roots, while at the end she enquires if we’re ”big enough”. Everyone is too intimidated to rise to the occasion.
13. Justin Bieber ft Usher – ‘Somebody To Love (Remix)’ Originally intended for Usher’s album, ‘Raymond vs Raymond’, this track was later released on Bieber’s debut album ‘My World 2.0’. In the video he shows early evidence of following in Usher’s footsteps with a heavily dance choreographed effort, featuring contestants from America’s Best Dance Crew.
12. Bruno Mars – ‘Grenade’ Bruno’s a bit down in the dumps. In this video he makes an enormous romantic gesture by dragging his piano all the way to her house, braving traffic, gang members and the homeless, only to be unpleasantly surprised upon arrival and taking fairly drastic action afterwards.
11. Rihanna ft Drake – ‘What’s My Name?’ It’s the tried and tested romance story. Girl meets boy. Girl likes boy. Boy likes girl. Girl and boy have whirlwind relationship. Girl performs spooky concert in the woods? Nevermind. But the irony is that it’s unlikely there’s a single person in the world who doesn’t know Rihanna’s name. Drake, however, is another story.
10. Pitbull – ‘I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)’ Yes, occasionally Pitbull releases his own music. Charitably he teaches us to count to four in Spanish, using scantily clad women as visual aids. Not quite Dora The Explorer, but certainly effective.
9. Katy Perry – ‘Firework’ Every felt a bit insecure? Left out? Generally depressed? Don’t worry, as Mrs Russell Brand’s video demonstrates, you have a ton of gunpowder in your chest ready to blow sky-high at any minute.
8. Jennifer Lopez ft Pitbull – ‘On The Floor’ This is the second time Lopez has collaborated with Pitbull, as he appears to have gone through everybody else. This is J.Lo’s comeback after over a year, and you’ll be pleased to see that along with releasing dancefloor stonkers she’s not stopped flaunting her other assets.
7. Justin Bieber ft Jaden Smith – ‘Never Say Never’ Intercut with clips from the recent remake of The Karate Kid, in which Jaden stars, this video is potentially early evidence of a chumminess between the two young stars. If this is true, then the combined forces of Beiber and the Smith family is a frightening prospect and certainly a force to be reckoned with.
6. Miley Cyrus – ‘Party In The U.S.A’ Based loosely on the ‘Sandy’ scene from Grease, Miley throws a massive rock performance at a drive-in named after a romantic haunt from her parent’s youth. The song, released in 2009, enjoyed a massive resurgence in popularity after the death of Osama Bin Laden, which no doubt contributed to the incredible 220 million views.
5. Eminem – ‘Not Afraid’ After the underwhelming comeback demonstrated by sixth album ‘Relapse’, the first single from ‘Recovery’ does little else but apologize for it. In this video he metaphorically accounts his spell with drug addiction and change of character, before a triumphant return as he soars through the streets of New Jersey.
4. Eminem ft Rihanna – ‘Love The Way You Lie’ Eminem signs up flame-haired vixen Rihanna to help him out on this track from ‘Recovery’. Standing outside a burning house, the pair watch as Dominic Monaghan and Megan fox make cameos as a troubled couple whose relationship is falling apart in the midst of vodka and punch-ups.
3. Shakira – ‘Waka Waka (This Time For Africa)’ Chosen as the official World Cup song for 2010, when Africa was the host, the video features plenty of clips from previous games, including the infamous penalty 1994 penalty from Roberto Baggio, with some standard Shakira hip-shaking thrown in for good measure.
2. Lady Gaga – ‘Bad Romance’ Gaga’s 2009 release sees her crawling from a space-aged bath, setting her lover alright and crying into the camera, sporting a wide array of high heels, underwear and bearing a polar bear as a shawl. Add some lyrics about a “vertical stick” and you’ve got yet another overrated piece of Gaga.
1. Justin Bieber ft Ludacris – ‘Baby’ You’d think that the most viewed video on YouTube, with an incredible 549 million views would be something illustrious and monumental. But no, it’s Justin Bieber having a dance off with some Mexican girls in a bowling alley. Oh, and Ludacris is there as well. Probably chaperoning or something.