The Most Vicious Put-Downs In Music

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James Blunt has criticised Damon Albarn for hiding his upper-class background. He told The Sun newspaper: “I was just the only one who didn’t hide my accent. I mean, come on, Damon Albarn, he’s right up there. He’s got an orchard full of plums in his mouth and a silver spoon stuck up his arse.”

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In his song ‘Yonkers’, Tyler, The Creator raps about stabbing Bruno Mars “in his goddamn oesophagus”. Mars responded to the threat, telling Spin that he “has to wait in line if he wants to stab me”. Looks like Tyler wasn’t the first guy to threaten Mars. Ah, the consequences of fame. Here are a few more memorable insults…

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Lily Allen on Cheryl Cole: “I may not be as pretty as you but at least I write and sing my own songs without the aid of autotune. I must say taking your clothes off, doing sexy dancing and marrying a rich footballer must be very gratifying, your mother must be so proud, stupid bitch.” (Myspace blog, 2007)

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U2 sighting – France

Bono on Chris Martin: “[He’s] a completely dysfunctional character and a cretin. But he happens to be a great melodist.” (Radio 1, 2009)

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Music – V97 Festival

Ian McCulloch on U2: “It was like, ‘Wanted: spud-peeler who can sing.’ And they were like, ‘Yes! I can peel the spuds, and you can tune the guitars’.” (Flaunt magazine, 2008)

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THE HORRORS

Faris Badwan on The Enemy: “You’ve got to hand it to these boys. They’re hungry, young and they’ve defied natural selection.” (NME Awards, 2008)

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T in the Park – Flaming Lips

Wayne Coyne on Arcade Fire: “They have good tunes, but they’re pricks, so fuck ’em.” (Rolling Stone, 2009)

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Carling Leeds Festival 2007

Win Butler on Wayne Coyne: “I hope I was less of a ‘prick’ than telling Rolling Stone that a bunch of people I don’t know at all are really assholes.” (Arcadefire.com, 2009)

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Liam Gallagher on Radiohead’s new album ‘The King Of Limbs’: “Them writing a song about a fucking tree? Give me a fucking break! A thousand year old tree? Go fuck yourself!” (The Quietus, 2011)

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Treat Yourself – Lydian Bells

Brian Eno to Alan McGee: “Fuck off, wanker.” (Twitter, 2009)

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Baby Names

Miley Cyrus on Radiohead (after being ‘snubbed’ by the band at the Grammys): “I was so upset. I wasn’t going to watch. Stinkin’ Radiohead! I’m gonna ruin them, I’m going to tell everyone.” (Johnjay and Rich radio show, 2009)

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Radiohead in concert – Massachusetts

Radiohead on Miley Cyrus: “When Miley grows up, she’ll learn not to have such a sense of entitlement.” (Manager’s press statement, 2009)

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manic preacher

Richey Edwards on shoegaze bands: “I will always hate Slowdive more than Hitler.” (NME, 1991)

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Showbiz Review 2008

Cheryl Cole on Pete Doherty: “[He] is not a poet. He writes shit. He is a waste of fresh air.” (The Sun, 2007)

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Noel Gallagher on Kaiser Chiefs: “I did drugs for 18 years and I never got that bad as to say, ‘You know what? I think the Kaiser Chiefs are brilliant’.” (BBC Newsbeat, 2008)

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Daniel Merriweather Concert and After Party – London

Beth Ditto on Katy Perry: “[‘I Kissed A Girl’ is] a boner dyke anthem for straight girls who like to turn guys on by faking gay. She’s just riding on the backs of [lesbian] culture.” (The London Paper, 2009)

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51st Annual Grammy Awards – Show – Los Angeles

Katy Perry on Beth Ditto: “I’m not impressed. I’ve learned in the past year that one artist should never insult another artist’s music — it’s tacky.” (The London Paper, 2009)

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Paul Weller on Freddie Mercury.”He said he wanted to bring ballet to the working classes. What a cunt.” (Uncut, 2006)

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Trent Reznor on Chris Cornell: “You know that feeling you get when somebody embarrasses themselves so badly YOU feel uncomfortable? Heard Chris Cornell’s record? Jesus.” (Twitter, 2009)

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Chris Cornell performs at the Commodore Ballroom, Vancouver, Canada

Chris Cornell on Trent Reznor: “Has anyone seen Judas? He was here a minute ago.”

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Music – Morrissey

Morrissey on Robert Smith: “A fat clown with make up weeping over a guitar.” (NME, 1989)

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Noel Gallagher on Jack White: “[He] did a song for Coca-Cola. He’s meant to be the posterboy for the alternative way of thinking. And he looks like Zorro on doughnuts.” (NME, 2005)

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Nike Human Race Event – London

Moby on Eminem: “He should lighten up. I mean, my mom was a bitch too, but I don’t go writing songs about it.” (MTV, 2003)

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“Subliminal Verses World Tour” – H.P. Pavilion

Corey Taylor on Coldplay: “[‘Viva La Vida’] is one of the most self-celebratory pieces of shit I’ve ever fucking heard in my entire life. It’s music to wipe your ass to.” (MTV2, 2008)

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Oasis Photocall – London

Noel Gallagher on Keane: “Traditionally speaking, the three biggest twats in any band are the singer, the keyboardist and the drummer. I don’t need to say anything else.” (NME, 2008)

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Patrick Wolf on La Roux: “The week I was dropped they signed her, and all the money that had been going into me was going into her. It was like they took Patrick Wolf and put it into a girl. Where I’m from, it’s not challenging.” (The London Paper, 2009)

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REPORTERS Jon Bon Jovi concert in Amsterdam

Jon Bon Jovi on Axl Rose: “That motherfucker hasn’t made a record in 13 years and he gets all that attention. You know what I’ve done in 13 years? A lot.” (New York Post, 2006)

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Courtney Love on Dave Grohl: “Dave gets to walk away unscathed and be the happy guy in rock, when he’s one of the biggest jerks. He’s been taking money from my child for years.” (Spin, 2005)

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American Idol Top 13 Party – West Hollywood

Sharon Osbourne on Bruce Dickinson: “[He] has a chip on his shoulder. The bottom line is, it’s not my fault that his solo records are shit.” (Attitude, 2005)

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SHOWBIZ Reading 22

Bruce Dickinson on Sharon Osbourne: “In her world, facelifts are really important. In my world, I don’t give a fuck. I get old and I get wrinkly. Who gives a shit?” (Close-Up magazine, 2006)

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KROQ Weenie Roast

Josh Homme on Sharon Osbourne: “The question is, do I actually care if Sharon likes me? It’s like, ‘Hitler doesn’t like you.’ Big deal. What’s she going to do, breathe on me?” (KTVU.COM, 2007)

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Christian Audigier birthday party – Cannes

50 Cent on Kanye West: “It’s not possible for Kanye to beat me. It’s like the teddy bear versus the gorilla. Kanye sucks.” (AJ’s Playhouse, 2007)

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Z100 Jingle Ball Concert

Kanye West on 50 Cent: “It’s almost like if a little kid walks up to you at the airport and is like, ‘Man, I love you so much’ – and then you spit on him.” (MTV, 2007)

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Etta James in concert – Vancouver

Etta James on Beyonce. “She’s gonna get her ass whupped. I can’t stand her. She has no business up there, on a big ol’ President day, singing my song (‘At Last’) that I’ve been singing forever.” (TMZ, 2009)

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Style: “Portrait B&W – high key”

Tom Clarke on Arctic Monkeys: “[The first album] was top. And then I was bitterly disappointed when I got the second – just dull.” (The Mirror, 2008)

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The Courteeners live – Nottingham

Carl Barat Alexandra Palace

Liam Fray on The Enemy: “That band are a bunch of little fucking pricks.” (NME, 2007)

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Marilyn Manson on My Chemical Romance: “These people are doing a really sad, pitiful, shallow version of what I’ve done. If they want to identify with me then here’s a razor blade. Call me when you’re done and we’ll talk.” (The London Paper, 2007)

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My Chemical Romance on Marilyn Manson: “If Elvis Costello said we sucked we would think about it a bit – but usually it is comments from someone with a new record to promote, so the remarks ring hollow.” (Rock Sound, 2007)

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Music – Nirvana Feature

Kurt Cobain on Axl Rose: “Ever since the beginning of rock and roll, there’s been an Axl Rose. And it’s just boring. It’s totally boring to me. He’s such an egotistical person that he thinks that the whole world owes him something.” (Melody Maker, 1991)

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Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera on Fred Durst: “You didn’t get no nookie! Screw you! He made such an ass out of himself and looks like a scumbag to everyone. End of story.” (MTV, 2003)

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Lily Allen in Concert – Los Angeles

Lily Allen on Victoria Beckham: “The Beckhams are sickening. Everyone knows Victoria is a monster. I’d rather shoot myself between the eyes than be a WAG.” (SoFoot Magazine, 2009)

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Miss USA Pageant 2009 – Las Vegas

Perez Hilton on Lily Allen: “She has no sense of humour. She takes herself way too seriously.” (PerezHilton.com, 2009)

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tomahawk

Mike Patton on Red Hot Chili Peppers: “They had us [Mr Bungle] kicked off several festival bills. That’s so fucking pathetic! I mean, this guy’s selling a million records, we are not even a speck of dust on this guy’s ass. What’s the fucking problem?” (The Onion, 1999)

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VAN HALEN CONCERT

Sammy Hagar on David Lee Roth (pictured), who preceded him as vocalist in Van Halen: “He’s half the singer and half the performer he used to be. He spray paints his hair on, and acts like it’s 1982. It’s like Liberace. It’s a joke.”

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Mark ‘E’ Everett on The Beatles: “John Lennon sings about peace because he’s a woman-beater. Hippies are so full of shit.” (Uncut Magazine, 2009)

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Morrissey Performs Live on the “Late Late Show” – LA

Morrissey on Elton John: “He is pushing his face in all the time and telling us about his private life. Nobody’s interested. He should just go away.” (NME, 1987) Pic: PA Photos

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Lars Ulrich on Megadeth’s Dave Mustaine: “He was in our band for a year, and it was 22 years ago. It’s sad and pathetic that [being kicked out] still can be that big a deal.” (So What!, 2006)

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