NME.COM

The wisdom of Jarvis Cocker

  • Beanpole Britpop godhead Jarvis Cocker is hosting the our awards bash on Wednesday February 24. To celebrate, here are some of the former Pulp frontman's wisest/funniest quotes. Pic: Richard Johnson

    Photo: Richard Johnson

    Added: 10 Nov 2009

  • On growing old gracefully: “I always thought that I might retire from any form of sexuality by the age of 40 and just become a dignified older person.” (Interview Magazine, August 2009). Pic: Andy Willsher

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    Added: 26 Jan 2009

  • On the power of music: "If you perform on a stage or you sing a song, it's kind of like penetrating somebody. It’s like having sex with somebody - but, obviously, from a great distance." (Interview, August 2009). Pic: PA Photos

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    Added: 23 Jan 2009

  • On civil disobedience: "Given what has happened to the economy this past year, I'd advocate an uprising, nothing short of a revolution. We should take to the streets in protest.” (The Independent, May 2009). Pic: PA Photos

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    Added: 23 Jan 2009

  • On invading Michael Jackson's stage at The Brits: "Although I don't regret it as a moral action, the fact it will be the first line in my obituary is just a little bit disappointing. I'd like to think I'd given more to the world." (The Guardian, November 2008). Pic: PA Photos

    Photo: Pa Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On becoming Dr Jarvis Cocker (after receiving an honorary PhD from Sheffield Hallam University): "Maybe if you get a blister on your finger from playing the guitar, I could probably take care of that for you.” (Absolute Radio, November 2009). Pic: PA Photos

    Photo: Pa Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On Englishness (he now lives in Paris): “I have all these fond memories of England, but then I get to the Eurotunnel terminal and there are these blokes with cars full of beer and it snaps me out of my reverie. It reminds me of the reality.” (Radio Times, June 2007). Pic: PA Photos

    Photo: Pa Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On careerist rock stars: “Reading an interview with Razorlight is just like reading The Economist.” (NME, September 2006). Pic: PA Photos

    Photo: Pa Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On the evil of Disney: “Pornography takes all the reality out of sex and Disney does that to family life.” (The Big Issue, December 2006). Pic: PA Photos

    Photo: Pa Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On being an elder statesman: "Oh, I don't know the answer to anything, I'm just a silly pop star." (The Big Issue, December 2006). Pic: PA Photos

    Photo: Pa Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On being a sex symbol: "Anyone who thinks they're sexy needs their head checked." Pic: PA Photos

    Photo: Pa Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On weird fans: "I got a pair of red, synthetic satin women's pants through the post the other day with a phone number on. That was quite strange. I haven't tried the phone number. In times of stress I may." Pic: PA Photo

    Photo: PA Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On his taste in music: "I like bossy girls. I don't like girls who just do whatever they think you want them to do, and follow you around trying to please you all the time." Pic: PA Photo

    Photo: PA Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On being an anti-Casanova: "I first started going out with this girl when I was 21 - I was a late developer." (The Observer, March 2009). Pic: PA Photo

    Photo: PA Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On sex at 45: "In some ways I wish I was out of that. I wish I could retire from the game. But then I realised that wish was kind of ridiculous." (The Times, May 2009). Pic: PA Photo

    Photo: PA Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On being shallow: “My song 'I Never Said I Was Deep'? That’s probably what should be etched on my tombstone.” (The Times, May 2009). Pic: PA Photo

    Photo: PA Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On loving life: I’ve got to an age where I just can’t be arsed doing things that make me feel crap. So you may as well just do things that you enjoy. Say it doesn’t get you a multi-platinum album, at least you had a good time.” (The Times, May 2009). Pic: Dan Dennison

    Photo: Dan Dennison

    Added: 30 Nov 2009

  • On advertising: "I was watching telly and that Johnny Cash song came on ['Hurt']. But it was advertising Nike trainers, and that struck me as being a particularly inappropriate use of music." (The Observer, October 2006). Pic: Tom Oxley

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    Added: 09 Jul 2009

  • On politics: "You've got a spectrum of different shades of, let's say brown, given that Gordon Brown is in charge. David Cameron is beige, and whoever it is who runs the Liberal Democrats - Clegg - he's chocolate brown.” (The Quietus, May 2009). Pic: PA Photos

    Photo: Pa Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On writing pervy lyrics: "The things in my songs are the edited highlights of my life. I don't go seeking out strange sexual experiences every day of the week." Pic: PA Photo

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    Added: 28 Jun 2009

  • On being a showman: "You’re doing a show, so you should give ’em summat to look at, really." (The Times, May 2009). Pic: Dean Chalkley

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    Added: 18 Jun 2009

  • On his taste in newspapers: “I like to think of myself as a man with carefully considered political beliefs - but deprive me of a decent puzzle and my resolve falters.” (Q, June 2009). Pic: PA Photo

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    Added: 18 Jun 2009

  • On what he wanted to be when he grew up: “I actually wanted to be an astronaut and a pop star. I don't know how I was going to combine the two careers.” (The Herald Magazine, May 2009). Pic: PA Photo

    Photo: PA Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010

  • On clubbing: “I used to look at older people who bothered to still attend nightclubs and couldn't help but wonder why. Didn't they realise how foolish they looked? Of course, now that I'm one of those people myself, I have decided that such rules don't apply to me.” (The Independent, May 2009). Pic: PA Photo

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    Added: 22 Jan 2009

  • On hosting the NME Awards: "That's a challenge. But yeah, I hope to keep people interested, stop them from dropping off… So yeah, lets do it! I’m excited about it." Pic: PA Photo

    Photo: PA Photos

    Added: 22 Feb 2010