With a little over two months until ‘Twilight: Breaking Dawn – Part One’ hits theatres (November 18), NME has acquired a host of pics from the upcoming flick for your Twi-lectation. Enjoy.
As adorable has his ‘coin behind the ear’ trick was, it always brought back unhappy memories of Bella’s “bad uncle”.
That’s the little punk who’s been driving up and down my street, keeping me awake until 4 in the morning. Bastard.
Those sheets look immaculately clean. Must be a ‘before’ picture.
“He should be mine!” cried Jacob, instantly realising his faux pas, “I mean she. She should be mine. Obviously, I meant she. She. Ahem”.
She’s hot. But she’s no Wendell ‘Bunk’ Pierce.
The doctor called with bad news. The baby’s father was confirmed as Eddie Murphy.
Edward and Bella discoverd the urban myth about ‘it getting stuck inside under water’ wasn’t a myth at all.
“I’m telling you it’s true! A dwarf porn star that’s the dead ringer for Gordon Ramsay has been found half eaten in a badger’s den. What you think I’d make that shit up?”
“Really starting to get regret these matching tattoos.”
“Wait until you check out your arse.”
This is one of the greatest pictures of all time.
“Mum, dad, we’ve got something to show you. Now don’t get mad but, yes, it’s true we have got matching bum tattoos.”
“And so I said, ‘Yeah but her name isn’t Dawn’. And they all laughed and called me their hero.”
As Tony made his move on the girl in the red dress, Cherie decided it was time to intervene.
“Don’t judge me! I know you’ve got JB hearts EC tatooed on your balls.”
She couldn’t believe that her “bad uncle” had chosen this moment to re-enter her life.
Other potential taglines included, “Eternity is just the start”, “Always commences forthwith” and, our personal favourite, “Perpetuity Now.”