February 9, 2001
Dane Bowers : Shut Up (And Forget About It)
Dame Dane's had his knockers, but now he's back bigger, stronger and bigger...
Dane and Jordan. It was beautiful, like Kylie and Jason, only with massively oversized chests. And yet, again like Kylie and Jason, it was inherently doomed: these two radical, brilliant minds - too alike, too intense - were destined to pull apart. No relationship could contain personalities this voluptuously abundant.
The full, unexpurgated tragedy of the break-up is detailed here on this heartbreaking missive from the emotional firestorm that is Dame Dane's soul. "Get up offa your knees," he exclaims, obviously distressed to see her, er, begging forgiveness. Or something.
The musical accompaniment to this raw, ragged soulsearching is - as would be expected from an ex-member of Another Level - scorching up-to-the-minute R&B pop. He's gonna be massive!
Christian 'Testosterone' Ward
5
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