December 8, 1999

Perfect Phase : Horny horns

It should be enough to shame [a]Norman Cook[/a] and [B]Thomas Bangalter[/B] into giving up music and joining a monastery.

Yet another steaming kerrazy trance 'anthem' that Judge Jules and Pete Tong and Terry Van U Feel It will deny having played to death in two months' time. Everything's here. It comes from the Netherlands. It has a stomping aerobics-lesson-on-GMTV beat. It samples a black man shouting. It does that shoved-in-a-washing-machine-then-pulled-out sound, which is the 'Woo! Yes!' sample of 1999. It should be enough to shame Norman Cook and Thomas Bangalter into giving up music and joining a monastery. And it carries on like a demented parrot until you eventually throw it out of the window. I must ask you, kids - what kind of drugs do you have to be on to get into these records,
and don't they leave permanent mental scars?

Johnny Cigarettes