December 8, 1999

Solid Gold Chartbusters : I wanna 1 2 1 with you

What next, 'O-Eight Nine Eight Double Five Double Five Double Five!' or 'Oh Eight Nine One, FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY!'

They claim they are 'the world's first novelty supergroup'.

What next, 'O-Eight Nine Eight Double Five Double Five Double Five!' or 'Oh Eight Nine One, FIFTY FIFTY FIFTY!'

But amazingly, it looks set to be another first - a novelty record that is so unspeakably annoying that NO FUCKER IN THE COUNTRY BUYS IT. Admittedly, the annoying yuppie talking on the phone annoyingly is reasonably funny, if annoying, but the main culprit is the actual mobile phone bleep (jingle? blingle?) which runs through the entire track. It's like being stuck in a train tunnel with Kev-E-Kev, Sonia and someone's bust watch alarm blaring out of adjacent seats. Which is no doubt all part of a cunning plan to mind-rape the nation and give them all brain cancer. And people want to ban that Cliff Richard record. What is this country coming to?

Johnny Cigarettes

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