London Kentish Town Bull & Gate

[a]Clint Boon[/a]  the [B]Vera Lynn[/B] of baggy  supplies some morale-boosting replicas of those old favourites from the Great Bowl Cut War...

"Well, we're on the brink of World War Three..." muses The Monsoon Bassoon's frazzle-haired guitarist. He pauses, considers the monstrous worldwide consequences of his words. Then howls, "WAHEY!" and pile-drives into 'Commando', which sounds like a million toxic early Genesis albums raining like prog scud missiles over Baghdad. God help us if there's another war.

Mind you, tonight's Fierce Panda showcase to celebrate their new 'Joy Of Plecs' triple-biller could almost double as a militaristic parade of the Indie Home Guard's hidden arsenal.

There's the Bassoon, a plucky squad of boggle-eyed eclectics whose atonal waltz thrashes, tactical use of clarinet and total lack of actual tunes forms a quite devastating weapon of disorientation. You'd simply have to put them on, wait ten minutes then bomb the bar and you'd wipe out 90 per cent of enemy forces, minimum.

And there's Max Tractor, a fearsome platoon of Harley-lovin' harpies revving their way into battle with "AH LAHVE RAHKANRAWWL!" as their war cry, a madrigal grungecore cover of Salt'N'Pepa's 'Push It' up their biker leather sleeves and ELO's string section strapped across their back. Intimidation tactics executed with masterful precision, Brian.

Invalided out of service and called up to entertain the troops instead, Clint Boon - the Vera Lynn of baggy - supplies some morale-boosting replicas of those old favourites from the Great Bowl Cut War. He's an indie-dance Lenny Beige, whipping up 'White No Sugar' and 'Only One Way I Can Go' - a splash of Cope, a roll of Carpets, all the sounds that were hot to flop in '92. And in dreary old, weary old '98, it never sounded so fresh.

When they sound the siren, see you down the bunker. The cabaret kills.

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