August 22, 2002
Tweet : Call Me
If you’re brainless – or even if you’re not! – call the 24 Tweetline on 0898 DREARY
OOPS! There goes Tweet’s career! Right down the nearest shitter! Oh MY! Not content with being so stupid she’s actually surprised at her own clothes falling off, here’s Tweet spunking her Timbaland connections up the wall with a limp R&B dry hump that’s about as seductive as a porno phone-line called ‘Naughty Nickelback: Chad Grunts For You!’. Forget the raunchmongous original, ‘Call Me’ has been remixed by some bongo-crazed twats called Cutfather and Joe and, no matter how much Tweet squirms about smeared in semolina cooing "I’ll have no panties on", nothing wilts a decent pop lob-on quicker than a whiff of bongo. If you’re brainless – or even if you’re not! – call the 24 Tweetline on 0898 DREARY.
Mark Beaumont
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