Celebrity offspring in OK album shocker
When [b]Coco Sumner[/b]’s nifty [a]Robyn[/a] hook-up ‘[b]Caesar[/b]’ dropped in January, the response was mired in confusion. As a nation we tend to enjoy celebrity offspring like we enjoy people twisting their ankle on the pavement in front of us – with the laughter of a lifetime’s stored-up resentment.
So for the 19-year-old model daughter of [b]Sting[/b] to come up with a single that somehow wasn’t wack seemed unfair. Worse, the track seemed weirdly self-aware, a manifesto of sorts for trustafarians looking to inflict their talent on a world that’s destined to hate them. “[i]I want to annoy/And I’m going to enjoy it/Merely because we’re bored,[/i]” Sumner sings haughtily, and we start to feel annoyed. But we had to give her props – this was a good-ass pop tune.
If only Sumner was able to repeat the trick – for the most part ‘[b]The Constant[/b]’ boils down to a thin chart gruel, too lumpenly pitched between the Carling Academies and the cattle-grid nightclubs to leave a mark.
The Lavigne-esque ‘[b]In Spirit Golden[/b]’ soars so predictably they should make hunting it illegal. ‘[b]Quicker[/b]’ sounds like [a]Empire Of The Sun[/a] in jacking house mode – not a place anyone should wish to revisit in a hurry – and the emo-tinged ‘[b]Turn Your Back On Love[/b]’ could almost have been lasered in from 1983.
There are moments. ‘[b]Selfmachine[/b]’ recreates [a]The Killers[/a]’ clubby output, right down to the twinkly smattering of keys. Sumner’s falsetto husk shines on ‘No Smile’’s reggae pop, and ‘[b]Summer Rain[/b]’ is a rare flash of personality, with a dream-pop refrain M83 would kill for.
It ain’t a classic, but sadly for rubberneckers ‘[b]The Constant[/b]’ is still better than anything Sumner’s [i]pater familias[/i] has knocked out in decades, tantric wanks aside.
Click here to get your copy of I Blame Coco’s ‘The Constant’ from Rough Trade Shops.