On June 13, 2000, having overseen the Apocalypse, The Antichrist will walk the Earth alone....
ON JUNE 13, 2000, HAVING OVERSEEN THE Apocalypse, The Antichrist will walk the Earth alone. No longer will mortals throw sticks at him. No, he shall walk freely in his striped Emo Phillips flares and ’70s bowl cut. He shall perform his schizoid concept albums of death and Armageddon in the mightiest stadiums. Then he’ll sit down and celebrate his 33rd birthday with a small sherry. On his own. As usual.
So read the terrifying predictions carved in piccolo and prog across the second album from Chicago’s avant-kitschster Bobby Conn. And lo, let it be known that he is a wanker. The question is, is he a dangerous and infernal wanker? Marilyn Manson, after all, is too [I]Scooby Doo[/I] to be Satan, but a man dressed like Jarvis Cocker’s retarded cousin crooning, [I]”I am just the Antichrist/So try to have some fun tonight/You’ll be dead in the morning”[/I] over the theme to [I]Starsky And Hutch[/I] on ‘Axis ’67 Pt 2’? Sounds pretty diabolical, right?
And there’s more. ‘United Nations’ finds Bob screaming, “[I]United Nations!/Under the rule of Satan!”[/I] over a cloven-hoofed glam stomp. ‘Lullaby’ does the same with The Cardigans. And surely, in 1998, only the Dark Lord himself could employ the evil medium of novelty kitsch to make a record reminiscent of 10cc on bad Vietnam psycho drugs.
Alternatively, come June 14, 2000, it’s all round Bobby’s house to celebrate our survival. Bring your own bricks and ‘Kick Me’ signs.