Talk about slow off the mark. After more than 30 years, [B]John Paul Jones[/B], [a]Led Zeppelin[/a]'s bassist, keyboardist and least interesting member, has finally got round to his debut solo LP....

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Zooma

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Zooma

Talk about slow off the mark. After more than 30 years, John Paul Jones, [a]Led Zeppelin[/a]’s bassist, keyboardist and least interesting member, has finally got round to his debut solo LP. And sure enough, he’s used those three decades to come up with a prog-blues opus.

However, before he really lets his inner diplodocus roam free, he does what all old people are prone to do – he tries to act hip. Quite where he got the idea that involved (on the title track) sounding like [a]U2[/a] doing pallid dance rock is anybody’s guess, but it doesn’t bode well for a track called ‘Bass ‘N’ Drums’. Especially when the thought of this lumbering relic getting down with the junglist massive chills the soul.

Fortunately, it’s merely an excuse to allow the dullest instruments in your trad rock band a jazzy joint solo. It’s execrable, obviously, but a mighty big relief. It’s also the spiritual cornerstone of ‘Zooma‘, which, unsurprisingly given his past, is an album about musicianship. But mainly it’s about vastly-overblown instrumental rock and face-contorting guitar solos.

Like buying a Victorian folly, this is an indulgence expected of the aging rocker. Wildly predictable it might be, but that doesn’t make it any less gruesome.