The Last Tour On Earth

The very idea of [a]Marilyn Manson[/a] releasing a live album is just plain ridiculous...

The very idea of [a]Marilyn Manson[/a] releasing a live album is just plain ridiculous. Any fool knows that, deprived of all the visual bogey man baloney, MM makes for pretty lame listening. That’s why his live shows are such a hoot and his records invariably naff. So why do the thing most bound to annoy us? Surely ‘The Last Tour On Earth‘ is an action perverse beyond even Monsieur Manson‘s warped course of duty. You reckon?

Read on. All live albums these days are a con. Surreptitiously studio-manicured to iron out all those little goof-ups that the crowd doesn’t notice when it’s all caught up in the moment, they are dishonest exercises in mutual flattery, the audience reaction similarly hiked-up to make the gig sound like such a monument to mayhem that the listener can’t help but regret (s)he missed out on it. The live album serves no purpose whatsoever other than to fleece the fans of yet more of their hard-earned cash while the artist pisses about auditioning for Hollywood between bouts of studio inspiration. So this is all [I]very[/I] [a]Marilyn Manson[/a], right?

But of course! That’s [I]exactly [/I]why the double M has released ‘The Last Tour On Earth‘; [I]because[/I] it is one big fat lie. It’s just what we expect of him; to do the [I]wrong [/I]thing. Naughty boy! The last tour on earth? My arse! MM is very well aware that Badly Drawn Boy is out there right now, doing the working men’s clubs of Northern England. And what’s more, we know that he knows it. And we know that he’s having a good old laugh at all those metal-monged-out fans dumb enough to buy into the idea of The Big Full Stop, The Horror To End All Horrors, The Ultimate Gig, ‘The Last Tour On Earth‘, etc.

Manson trades in the amplification of hypocrisy – he takes all our ugly fucking greed and he magnifies it until it can’t be ignored any more and then, when people start squealing about how outrageous he is, he rubs their faces in it by pointing out that he is merely a mirror to their own obese moral depravity. So it is perfectly within character for [a]Marilyn Manson[/a] to release a live album of his greatest not-really-hits, chuckling in the knowledge that it is not what we really, really want because… well, we can’t see him with his hand up his bum or hung high on the cross made of TVs or whatever else it is he gets up to onstage to [I]distract[/I] us from the fact that, the quite magnificently dumb ‘I Don’t Like The Drugs (But The Drugs Like Me)‘ apart, he can’t write a spooky song for toffee.

Except that, uh-uh… something’s mighty wrong here. This isn’t the festering heap of cash-in crap that Monstrous Manson would have us hate ourselves for buying. Oh no, this ain’t crap at all. This is some of the most vicious-sounding NOIZZZE that you will hear all year. This is top headbanging stuff, especially the aforementioned ‘Drugs…‘ with its daft intro that wickedly parodies Hitler and Martin Luther King, and the stomping ‘Antichrist Superstar‘.

This is goddamn fine honest-to-badness heavy metal. Only heavier. [a]Marilyn Manson[/a] makes a great album, well worth buying? Boy, did he fuck up big this time!