Euro 2000 – The Official Album

Look away now if you like music.

All-out warfare. It’s a proud European tradition that dates back to the dark of pre-Roman times. You know, boiling oil, catapulting plague-ridden rats over city walls, that kind of thing. Great matches, they were: Goths v Saxons, Etruscans v Huns…

and the like over EC-approved, pumping, pasteurised, synthesised haus-musik (thank you, E-Type, Oakenfold, [a]Sash[/a], Shaft, [I]et al[/I]). Or rousing classical themes like ‘Aoda’ or Purcell’s ‘Rondeau’ given a tasteful techno make-over (cheers, DJ Jurgen, CJS). When hymn-toting, haut-bourgeois boors Fat Les come on (with both ‘Jerusalem’ and ‘Vin-da-loo’), incredible as it may seem, it’s almost a victory for wit and style.

It’s worth noting that in ancient times, three lions on your chest would have meant something quite different. Something far more entertaining than this record.