Songs From Ally McBeal

People really are masochists, aren't they?...

PEOPLE REALLY ARE MASOCHISTS, aren’t they? Give them supposedly escapist entertainment such as [I]This Life[/I] or [I]Bridget Jones’ Diary[/I] and they will squeal, “Oh, that is [I]sooo[/I] much like my reality, daaar-link!” and blub tears of empathy. We can only assume that it is these self-important chappies who persist in buying Alisha’s Attic records.

It surely helps that Karen and Shellie Poole (for ’tis they) are true EastEnders: by turns flirty, furious and just flippin’ well confused, with ‘Illumina’ the sisters have written practically an entire soap episode. To wit, they have songs about being a bad girl (‘Going Down’, ‘Shameless’), about being a jealous girl (‘Wish I Were You’, ‘Are You Jealous?’), and – [I]quelle surprise[/I] -; about being a bad, jealous girl with a dolphin (‘Me & The Dolphins’).

Some tunes are like Alanis Morissette’s migraine. One or two are as good as Kate Bush’s backside. Most of ‘Illumina’, however, is an overly stewed brew of pouting vocals, petty emotional interests and pretty MOR noises with all the depth and sophistication of a Teletubbies paddling pool. Perfect fodder, therefore, for anyone who considers Daniela Nardini to be ‘a bit’ of ‘alright’.