...Certain pitfalls must be avoided if one wishes to be taken seriously. Among them: transparently attempting to sound like [a]Oasis[/a], [a]David Bowie[/a] or [B]The Beatles[/B]...

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In The Cold Light Of Morning

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In The Cold Light Of Morning

So here’s this man, Jas Mann to be precise, who – having suffered much derision in the wake of his jeans ad-assisted hit ‘Space Man’ in 1996, primarily for saying wanky things and making rubbish records – decides to make a comeback album to prove to the world that he isn’t at all wanky or rubbish and is in fact greatly talented and entirely credible. So what does he call this album? ‘King Kong Groover’.

And it gets worse. Certain pitfalls must be avoided if one wishes to be taken seriously. Among them: transparently attempting to sound like Oasis, David Bowie or The Beatles; slapping wacky ‘space’ noises on to musical motifs stolen from bygone eras in order to disguise the fact that you filched them; titling songs ‘Manhattan Martian’ or ‘Honaloochie Boogie’; and lyrics like “I’m a laser-guided superstar”. Clearly, no-one pointed these things out to Jas Mann.

This slickly produced machiavellian plundering of pop classics is merely a clumsy effort to resurrect a career that was a fluke in the first place.

Jas Mann has failed to add anything to the sources he has appropriated, other than terrible lyrics and a voice more than capable of causing spontaneous aneurisms at 50 paces.

The album opens with a track called ‘All The Money’s Gone’. No doubt it is. But this is no way to make it back.