Nu-metal behemoths recorded live. Be afraid...
A spy for the Martian Federation would report that
Planet Earth is dominated – militarily, economically
and culturally – by a single superpower. It might also
report that a substantial proportion of this mighty
empire’s youth are infatuated by a pop group whose
drummer sniffs decomposing bird corpses. For fun. And
whose best known song is entitled ‘People Are Shit’.
To which the Martian High Command would probably reply
with whatever the Martian is for “what the fuck!?”
Hey, it’s an Earth thing, you wouldn’t understand.
Same as you’d find it hard to grasp why anybody would
want to own a live recording of a concert which, for
the most part, sounds like high-explosive bombs
dropped on a dogs’ home. During a thunderstorm. What are
they going to do with it? Dance to it? Wank to it? Use
it to scare sparrows off the skunk plants?
To be fair, our green friends might find themselves
tapping a tentacle or ten to the first three tracks, all
of which are provided by those ever so slightly insane
purveyors of the finest mentalist-metal, System Of A
Down. Here, at least, is a sense of playfulness, of
musical experimentation. And then along come Slipknot
who smash you in the face, rip your heart out, eat it
and then shit down your throat. Musically speaking.
It’s migraine time. Slipknot live are the musical
equivalent of being bombarded with house bricks. So we
ask again – what sort of demented bastard would
actually enjoy listening to this barbaric cacophony?
But Slipknot‘s contributions at least have the merit
of being savagely unlistenable. Because the two Mudvayne
tracks – ‘Under My Skin’ and ‘Pharmaecopia’ – are just
boring. Mudvayne lack either SOAD‘s inventiveness or
Slipknot‘s barbarity. They’re kind of the Leicester
City of nu-metal. Which makes American Head Charge
Port Vale. Or possibly Swindon.
A band called No One relieve the tedium somewhat with
their contribution – ‘My Release’. But it’s doubtful
that anybody except the most fanatical nu-metal
completist will actually have stayed listening as far
as track ten.
Pledge of Allegiance proves three things. Firstly that
live recordings of tours – no matter how “legendary”[/I] – are seldom a
good idea. Secondly that SOAD are streets ahead of ALL
their American competition. And lastly that the nu-metal genre
is cluttered to the point of collapse with way too many
second rate, make-weight lightweights.
It’s time to discriminate. It’s time to get choosy. It’s time for a purge.