The Ideal Crash

It was the [a]Lollapalooza[/a] to scare your parents....

It was the [a]Lollapalooza[/a] to scare your parents. Except this time it would involve a lot more black clothing and a liberal dash of the occult. Doubtless the nation’s guardians were petrified.

They needn’t have worried – this atmosphere-free live album proves it was little more than a travelling karaoke troupe. Because the last thing on your mind as lumpen gloom rockers [a]Orgy[/a] massacre ‘Blue Monday’ is rebellion.

Even headliners Korn fall foul of the cabaret atmosphere, rattling through a time-saving medley of greatest hits, thereby proving conclusively that no-one but the adolescent and the morally uptight takes doom rockers with an interest in pentangles remotely seriously.

Which only leaves Ice Cube. He too pulls out the party pieces, but at least he limits them to songs he actually appeared on originally. Which is just as well, because it takes the rage of ‘Fuck Tha Police’ – albeit slightly neutered without the rest of NWA – to salvage some authority-baiting pride.

On this evidence, America can sleep soundly. We, however, can snooze even more peacefully – this tour has no plans to come to Europe. Thank the god of fuck for that.