[I]"Make hay not war"[/I] gurgles New Girlie[B] Cerys Matthews[/B] as the strings swoop sweetly, the birdies tweet, and happy, laughing scarecrows skip over the horizon into the sunrise and all is

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[I]”Make hay not war”[/I] gurgles New Girlie Cerys Matthews as the strings swoop sweetly, the birdies tweet, and happy,

laughing

scarecrows skip over the horizon into the sunrise and all is well with the world. Hay, you see, not war. Hay good. War bad. La-de-dah-de-dum, pass the tractor keys and let’s go a-reapin’, a-reapin’ all de day…

NNGGGGGGG!! What are you suggesting?!? You haven’t thought this through, have you!?! Are you saying our F1-11s should fly all the way to Kosovo to drop fucking hay bombs? It’s not

Glastonbury

out there! It doesn’t matter how much straw you ship out to the Balkans, it’s hardly going to stop Slobodan Milaschlobalobovik performing genocidal atrocities on his own countrymen! They’ve got REAL GUNS, you know! And BOMBS AND THAT! And when there’s mushroom clouds over Oz and your lovely milkmaid dress has melted into your skin, don’t come running to the IPC bunker with your hippy-dippy push-me-higher-daddy Disney butterfly ballads ‘cos we’ll just shoot you in the head to put you out of your radiation-ravaged misery and feed your diseased remains to the guard dogs!

Er, sorry? It’s about shagging? Oh, well, in that case – fair

point,

The Welsh.
Stevie Chick