February 12, 2000

Piper, Billie : Day and night

Gleam-toothed pop troll 'does a [B]Britney[/B]' where [B]Britney[/B] can only 'do a mimsy mum-pop'...

'Because We Want To' was teen-pop class in a bendy-straw-with-comedy-plastic-eyelashes-stuck-on and you know it. Here the gleam-toothed pop troll 'does a Britney' where Britney can only 'do a mimsy mum-pop', and the pillars of pish celebrity nu-pop stand erect for another year until she turns 12 and runs off to have children, unfeasibly, with the lady-boy from Five, and gains
OK! magazine 'status' as the new Posh'n'Becks. (Or, as they're now known, Thick'n'Thin.) These are the days of our lives, as Sir Frederick Mercury used to have it, and it's someone's fault and that person is not called Billie. Unless of course he's called Clinton, still the most powerful man on Earth, who now pretends to wash his 987ft-long automobile for a laugh while half the world screams for a chance to breathe in Hell. 'Funny' old world, innit?

Sylvia Patterson