June 8, 2000

Crush

So [B]'Crush'[/B] is basically [B]'Slippery When Wet Part XXVI'[/B] with a couple of really bad ballads...

5 / 10 It's a proven fact that if you sing the lyric, "Shot through the heart and you're to blame" in the company of two or more people, then at least one of them will join you in singing, "You give love a bad name" while playing air guitar and gritting their teeth.

The problem with Bon Jovi is that while this is all well and good when you're 13 or musically deluded, then it's hard to like them if you're not.

While a fantastic actor, charismatic frontman and caring family man, JB Jovi can come across a little soulless and businesslike. It's hard to get down with his Bruce Springsteen-lite working-on-the-docks vibes as he flies above you in his private jet laughing his dick off. Still, he can write a good cheezoid rock tune and at least he sticks to what he knows.

/img/BonJovi0600.jpg There are not a lot of concessions to modern rock fashion on 'Crush', and it's all the better for it. Can you imagine JBJ on the mic, with Richie Sambora giving it Rage Against The Machine scratchy guitar solos? Let's not even go there.

So 'Crush' is basically 'Slippery When Wet Part XXVI' with a couple of really bad ballads - pure Peter Cetera/Mr Mister, without the class. The comeback single 'It's My Life' is an updated 'Livin' On A Prayer' with a dope JBJ namecheck for the original song's subject - beleaguered heavy metal couple Tommy and Gina. Seems they're doing a lot better these days. Nice to know.