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You can’t call a song ‘Charlie Brown’ and make it worse than the Peanuts theme. I don’t care if you’re Chris Martin. I don’t care if you’re a member of your very own Coldplay gym, or if you recorded it in a church, or if your wife’s doing a recipe book especially for vegans who teach Bikram yoga to monks. If you call a song ‘Charlie Brown’ and it sounds this half-arsed you are officially Out Of The Club.

Matt Wilkinson

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