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Anyone else see Envy & Other Sins begging and pleading Jo Whiley for a record deal on Channel 4’s MobileAct Unsigned and think, “How did it come to this?” Seriously, whatever happened to things like ‘dignity’, ‘rebellion’ and ‘self-re-cocking-spect’? Three decades ago rock’n’roll was gatecrashing the set of Bill Grundy’s Today show and repulsing Middle England in a blur of very naughty words indeed. Now this: indie X Factor desperados peddling 1998-era Britpop (worst year ever) while weeping openly on television for the benefit of Alex James and his Stilton’n’coke-bloated face. Rest in peace, music.

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