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Youngest King of Leon Jared Followill tweeted the other day that he "CANNOT wait to lose my virginity" with his prospective wife. From the evidence of the track he has just put out through his side-project Smoke & Jackal with Nick Brown from Mona, this was some kind of gag.

'No Tell' is in line to win the prize for worst song lyrics of the 21st century. "She only came to give some head/ She making messes in my bed," Followill croons to music that can only be described as a cover of U2's With Or Without You accompanied by a melody your hamster could write.

The story starts with Followill, a preacher's son incidentally, imagining his conquest's father watching "the way she's looking at me before going down on her knees". So let's get this straight. That's the girl (the youngest he's slept with by the way - well done!), the girl's dad and Romeo, in a room together, with the dad watching his daughter giving a blow job. Then he repeatedly tells us that the sheets are red. Next comes a really strange line: "she can barely get it out". Well, at least dad is there to help.

Did he write these lyrics to shock? To show off his fruity sex life? To piss off his Christian parents? Perhaps it's on the soundtrack to the new Inbetweeners sequel.

But no one wants to hear about Jared's weird groupie sex - especially when it's expressed so crassly.

Lucy Jones

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Date/Time	Venue	Town/City	Seetickets	Viagogo
Jun 24, 2013	Manchester Arena	Manchester	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets from £55	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets from £25
Jun 25, 2013	Manchester Arena	Manchester	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets from £55	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets from £28
Jul 09, 2013	Lg Arena, The Nec	Birmingham	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets from £65	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets
Jul 09, 2013	Lg Arena	Birmingham	Tickets not currently available.	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets from £36
Jul 10, 2013	Lg Arena, The Nec	Birmingham	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets from £65	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets
Jul 10, 2013	Lg Arena	Birmingham	Tickets not currently available.	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets from £44
Aug 15, 2013	Bellahouston Park	Glasgow	Tickets not currently available.	Buy Kings Of Leon Tickets from £45