Vote Motorhead: you know it makes sense...
Looking for traditional values? Keen for the basic traditional values that we all hold dear to survive intact as we come to terms with the new century?
Look no further. The lights go down at nine-fifteen prompt. Lemmy swaggers from the wings in the same trademark white winklepickers, silver bullet belt and open to the waist black shirt he’s been wearing since decriminalisation. Amongst the party faithful – an unholy alliance of Bulldog Bash hairies, hungover-looking punks and legions of black t-shirted disciples of the full metal racket – a hush descends.
”How ya doin’ out there, alright?” he rasps, to a roar that rattles the light fittings. ” Well, we are Motorhead and we’re gonna fuck you up…” Dry ice pours from the wings. Lemmy – who never plays a solitary note where a crunching bass powerchord will do – tilts his neck into position beneath the microphone and thinks of England. The ancient blues begins. ‘Bomber’, ‘No Class’, ‘Over Your Shoulder’, each one a delusional masterclass in what will happen to you if you, well, start living like Lemmy.
Like the speed-freak manual says: if the bad drugs don’t get you then the bad women will, and the only thing left to do is rage against the dying of the light until your number’s called and you’re booked up for that great amphetamine party in the sky. ”A friend of mine died in New York City the other week,” he drawls, as the onslaught builds toward a finale, ”and his name was Joey Ramone…” A full-throated roar of appreciation goes up, but it’s not enough for Lemmy, a man who knows what it’s like to dedicate your life to the pursuit of brotherly love. ”Come on, that’s not fuckin’ loud enough for Joey Ramone!” he chides, until the noise rattles off the scale and goes to hide under a table.
The encores, inevitably, begin with Lemmy telling us he loves us, and that, seeing as this is his home town, how extra-special to him tonight is. Showman that he is, he then stands centre-stage and blasts out the opening riff to ‘Ace Of Spades’. You can guess what happens next.
If this if what tradition stands for , then all the other parties aren’t gonna get a look in. Vote Motorhead.